


Fake It Til You Make It

by longlost10



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2016-03-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 10:10:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 31,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4344470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longlost10/pseuds/longlost10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla told her mother she has a girlfriend. Which would be fine... if she actually had one.</p><p>A Fake Dating AU no one wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Conversation

“Don’t forget that the family reunion is this weekend. Matska is coming into town for it. You know how much you love spending time with her.”

“I know, Mother. You’ve told me at least 7 times in the last 38 minutes.”

“Do not sass me, Carmilla. I have enough of that from William this week, I don’t need it from you too.”

“What did Willie boy do this time?”

“Scoffing at your mother is considered sass. And his new girlfriend is… a very special character. She doesn’t appreciate traditions.”

“Because sometimes your ‘traditions’ tend to lean towards the Spanish inquisition.”

“Carmilla, mind your tongue! Between Matska and William it's just too much for my poor heart. Luckily my dearest Carmilla is someone I can rely on.”

“What do you mean, Mother?”

“Well I know that when I get old and frail, I'll have you and your boyfriend- or better yet, fiancé or husband at that point- to rely on.”

“Boyfriend? I don't-”

“Matska will be trying to change the world through legislation and bureaucracy and William could never be trusted in the first place. Don't act so surprised, you've known this for years, you know how he is..”

“But Mo-”

“You, however, my darling diamond, have always been more than reliable. Always so good and faithful to me. Even when you show that not-so-subtle resistance to whatever I need, you always come through for me. In the future, who knows what I'll need for my health? That being said, that'll be quite a long time from now, of course. But I know I can rely on you.”

“Of course. But-”

“I have no doubt that you'd choose a good husband to fit into the family. You know how important family and events are to me, and to everyone. Not to mention that in the future you'd be just as loyal when love inevitably escapes you later in-”

“Mother! I have a girlfriend!”


	2. LaFontaine is a LaFonpain

Hell. Why did she have to say that? She had zero people willing to back her up her claim on the girlfriend front... much less someone who actually holds the title. Not to mention that was probably the least elegant way to come out to a parent ever.

“What's occupying your neurons and synapses, Broody McBroodface?” LaFontaine's voice broke the lifeless stare she was giving the book in front of her. Carmilla glanced up from the sentence she read a hundred times but never retained to look at her roommate. They were playing with a colourful tower- red, green, yellow, and blue rods littered their bed (which was currently serving as a desk). 

They claimed it was a DNA modelling kit.

Carmilla claimed it was a complex game of Jenga.

The biology major was one of their closest friend... for whatever reason. To be fair, Carmilla barely remembered how they met in the first place. It had to be freshman year and it was probably a complete accident. But the two of them were in their third year of college so the friendship was obviously working and no need to rock the boat. Right?

Despite their history, it was always hard for the two of them to talk about their families. Carmilla never shared anything particularly personal and LaFontaine preferred to pretend that their family didn't exist.

But this mutual fact let the silence that fell between them announce the topic in neon letters. “Family shenanigans?”

“Family shenanigans.” Carmilla nodded, staring down at the text in her lap. She sat on her own bed, back against the wall, watching LaFontaine carefully build their “model”.

Games of Jenga have gotten a lot more complicated than when she used to play it.

She let the comfortable silence pass between them for a few minutes before- “I told my Mother about everything.”

“Oh shit.” It was a commitment to their friendship that LaFontaine stopped science-ing to look up at Carmilla. Telling their families about their queerness was one of those hot-button topics that they liked to avoid like the plague. It was one reason why LaFontaine pretended theirs lived in a remote island in the middle of the ocean without cell phone reception. “How'd it go?”

Carmilla shrugged, playing with the edge of the page in front of her. “I just kind of blurted it out... she was bugging me and frustrating me and it just... happened.”

It took about 30 seconds for LaFontaine to smirk and put on her 'Carmilla mocking face'. Carmilla hated that face. “I would have paid to hear that conversation. 'Yes Mother! I'm gay! All hail the vagina!'” The worst part was that LaFontaine's impression of them was fairly good. 

“Don't worry. Because that wasn't how it happened.” She muttered, sinking lower into the crevice between the bed and wall. Her hair slipped out from behind her ear and fell over her cheeks. “I kind of... told her I had a girlfriend.” There was a loud _crash_ as Carmilla's head shot up to see the structure LaFontaine was working on laid broken on the floor, the owner's eyes wide and staring at their roommate. “I have to bring them to the reunion next weekend.”

There was a second of processing time before they started laughing at her misfortune; they even fell over and hugged their stomach on the bed. There was no power on Earth that would be able to describe the passion to which Carmilla wanted to wipe that smirk off their face.

“So. What are you doing next weekend?”

Well. That did it.

LaFontaine's smile was now a straight-lined glare, all joy gone and replaced with annoyance and only a hint of anger. “Dude, no. I'm with Perry.” A smile flickered on their lips at the thought of the curly ginger. “Plus, she'd kill me if she found out. She might not look it, but she can get super jealous. Remember when I started hanging out with JP in the lab?”

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Yeah yeah...”

“No offense, mate. But the only reason I'm your roommate and not hers is because she gets a single for being a floor don.”

“I know, I know!” An exasperated sigh escaped her as she ran her hand through her hair. “I still need someone to bring though. Do you know how to get a girlfriend in four days?”

LaFontaine scoffed. “It took me over a year and a half to ask Perry out. You're asking the wrong kid.” It was a weird predicament to find herself in. She couldn't just go to a bar- those were saved for one-night-stands and there was _no_ way she was taking a one-night-stand to her family. She barely let them stay around her dorm the next morning, much less see a friend... “Why don't you just get a friend to play the part?”

Carmilla raised her eyebrow. “Oh yes. Let me pull out my long list of close friends willing to stand up to my Mother and siblings and lie to their face. Hm.” She mimed taking out a small slip of paper out of her pocket. “It's just so long, I can barely read it.” She brought the imaginary paper close to her eye.

“Yeah, I got it.” They muttered, throwing a blue wooden rod at her. Carmilla caught it easily and twirled it between her fingers. It appeared to be plastic, not wood. Not Jenga then.

A bit of time passed and Carmilla went back to her reading, still unable to take in more than a few words. LaFontaine seemed to go back to their 'model', not minding Carmilla's twirling of the blue piece they threw.

“I got it!” The shout made Carmilla jump- almost to her dismay. LaFontaine usually caused so much destruction and noise that it took a lot to surprise her.

But they were smirking as they scrambled over their bed to their desk and grabbing their phone. “Care to share, Hubbard?”

They glanced up from their phone to cast her an offended look. “Do not associate me with that... that... ” they shuddered, unable to finish their sentence (although Carmilla thought she heard mutterings of 'giving science a bad name'). After a second of silence though, Carmilla raised her eyebrow and cleared her throat. “Patience, grasshopper. All will be revealed in due time.”

“I don't _have_ due time. That's the problem, Gingersnap.”

“That's better, but I think you've used that nickname in the past two days.” Carmilla shrugged, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “You'll find out tomorrow. I promise.”

Oh no.

The smirk was back.


	3. A Meet and Greet

The next morning, Carmilla woke up to a post it on the ceiling above her bed. She blinked a few times to make sure that she wasn't seeing things before she realized that it 1) had writing on it and 2) was put there by LaFontaine while she slept. Creep-factor aside (she had to admit that these types of shenanigans were par for the course right now so the creep-factor wasn't that high at all), she stood up, bounced a little on the mattress and grabbed the small piece of paper.

_Lunch on the quad.  
12:30.  
Be there or be a regular quadrilateral! ___

She sighed, crumpling up the note before glancing at the only alarm clock in the entire room- LaFontaine's. Judging by the glowing red numbers, she had about an hour until her date with doom. Carmilla yawned and threw the paper in the general direction of the trash can, not caring if it actually went in before heading towards the shower.

After a quick shower, the remaining time was spent reading, procrastinating the homework peeking out of her backpack menacingly and mentally cursing her mother. LaFontaine decided to send her text messages at 10 minute intervals to remind her to come to lunch, occasionally tempting her with bribes.

She knew better than to trust their bribes though.  
Once she got wherever she needed to go, the offers were retracted faster than they were offered.

After a while, Carmilla sent them a strongly worded text message using all of her favourite curse words explaining why the reminders weren't necessary and they should stop bugging her.

When it was finally time to go, she grabbed her backpack off the ground (barely bothering to shove the lose papers into it) and left the comfortable solitude of the dorm room. She almost got to the stairwell before her name echoed through the hall.

“Carmilla!”

She turned her head to see their floor don, Lola Perry, running down the corridor trying to catch up. Carmilla waited about 7 seconds watching the girl's handbag bounce against her hip before turning her back to the redhead and opening the stairwell door.

It took another minute or so for Perry to catch up, but she eventually walked beside Carmilla trying to subtlety regulate her breathing. “You haven't warmed up much since you first moved in, have you?”

Perry had always been their floor don, even before they got the job.

“What do you want, Shirley Temple?”

“Can you give something to LaFontaine for me? I tried texting them but you know how they are with running their phone battery down-”

Carmilla couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped her lips. “What? They haven't invented a pocket-sized teleportation portal to constantly link you two together?”

An exasperated sigh accompanied Perry's rolled eyes. “Can you?”

“I'm meeting the leprechaun down at the quad now, if you want to tag along.” The offer was given quietly as if Carmilla was hoping that it went unheard.

Unfortunately or not, Perry let out a rather chipper squeal and continued to walk beside her with a skip in her step. While Carmilla didn't have anything against relationships as a whole, whatever LaFontaine and Perry had together was annoyingly adorable. A person had to check if they had diabetes after watching any interaction between the two.

All of Perry's attempts at conversation failed until they reached the quad. LaFontaine was visible sitting under a tree on a blanket with two girls, a brunette and a redhead.

Do gingers manage to just _find_ another in a mass of people? Or did this campus just have a disproportionate amount of redheads? It was as if the universe said likelihood probabilities did not exist at this university.

As they got closer, LaFontaine's eyes snapped up and saw Perry. A smile the size of the entire mass of Syria took over their face. “Hey Perr!” Their voice was impressively steady for the amount of excitement in their eyes.

“I brought a present, Ginger 2.” Carmilla muttered, leaning against the tree trunk. Her words were ignored as LaFontaine only had eyes and ears for the curly redhead.

Rolling her eyes, Carmilla looked down at the other two girls sitting on the blanket. They were talking together, voices low. The brunette's eyes constantly moved, surveying her surroundings and taking in everything she could. The redhead only had eyes for the smaller girl. (They were sitting down but it was clearly to see that the redhead was unnaturally tall).

The brunette laughed at something her friend said and Carmilla's mouth started to form a small grin. After a second, she caught herself and forced her face back to it's normal apathetic mask.

“Why did you wake me up before 2pm for?” Carmilla asked loudly, pulling LaFontaine back to reality.

Their face was nearly as red as their hair as they looked towards her and rolled their eyes. “I have two potential girlfriends for you! Dark and broody, meet Danny and Laura. Laura, Danny, meet Carmilla.”

A beat passed before she scoffed. “No, really. Where are they?” At LaFontaine's confused look, she continued. “Seriously? You got a ginger giant and a cream puff? What did you do? Go to Rent-A-Girl?”

The smile on Laura's face slowly turned into a small, but deeply hurt, frown. Danny's, on the other hand, turned into a look of pure hatred. “I'm sorry?” Danny asked, straightening up a little bit. It became clearer how tall she was compared to the brunette.

“Oi. Be nice.” LaFontaine said harshly. “They're my friends. I met them in in my theater class last year. They volunteered to help you out.”

Danny scoffed and crossed her arms, muttering something along the lines of “I might retract that statement.”

Carmilla snorted, standing up straight and moving away from the tree. “Just because you take an Intro-to-Acting course doesn't mean you can act. It means you can bullshit in actions for a semester.”

At this, Perry's slight frown turned into a full one and Laura looked actually close to tears. However, her words didn't phase LaFontaine, who was used to the way Carmilla shared her views by now. ”Look, unless you have a plan to get a real girlfriend in the next three days, this is all I can do for you. And I have a feeling your stunning personality won't cut it, no matter how alcohol you pump in them. ” They let that sink in. “What do you say?”

There was a few moments when Carmilla thought about her, admittedly few and probably poor, options before her. She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it back and letting out an exasperated breath. “Fine.” She grumbled, not finding any other way around the situation. “So are we doing this student style or street style?”

“What do you mean?” LaFontaine raised an eyebrow.

“Well, do I have to pay for it or is it a IOU style?” She glanced over at the two girls sitting on the ground.

Danny stood up in a huff. “Nope! I'm out!” Carmilla raised an eyebrow- she was well taller than originally guessed.

“Don't want to play pretend, Xena?” She asked, a sickeningly sweet smirk on her face.

The tall redhead bent down and picked up a backpack. “Not with you, I don't.” She turned to LaFontaine. “I'm sorry LaF, I can't do it.” Then to Laura, “Are you coming?”

The brunette still had a slight frown on her face, but it was more from concentration than disappointment or anger. Her head was even tilted slightly to the side. “She might be a jerk, Danny, but we can't just not do it.”

“Sure we can!” Danny's face almost matched the shock in her voice. “Just get up and walk away.”

“I can't do that.” Laura spoke quietly. “I can't just walk away. That wouldn't be me.”

Danny let out something that was probably closer to a growl than a sigh. “You're killing me, Hollis.” With that, she turned to Carmilla and made eye contact. “Carmilla.”

“Clifford.”

At Carmilla's nickname, Danny's eyes rolled so far back into her head Carmilla was a bit afraid of them being stuck and lost back there. But then Danny nodded at LaFontaine and Perry before walking off, leaving an almost awkward air between the remaining four.

A few seconds passed before LaFontaine smiled and clapped their hands. “Perfect! Thank you Laura. We'll leave you two alone to get to know each other-”

“Oh I really don't think that's-”

“That'd be perfect, LaF. Thanks!” Laura cut Carmilla off and shot her a soft glare. There was no room for protest as LaFontaine took Perry's hand and dragged her away from the tree, getting away as fast as possible. Carmilla tuned back into Laura's voice. “If we're supposed to be dating, I should know more about you, right?” The smaller girl adjusted herself and patted the ground beside her. “What's your major? What do you want to do after university? Or should we start simple? Favorite color? Animal? TV show? Are you a cat person or a dog person? Do you have any siblings? I think LaF mentioned you had a brother...”

Carmilla stared down at the brunette, almost in shock at the stream of questions flying out of her mouth at 100 miles per hour. Without another word, she turned on her heel and started walking to the Commons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the feedback! I appreciate it so much!  
> On the other hand, I got my account at work today, so I actually have stuff to do now... but I'll try to update at least once a week.
> 
> Comments, hate mail, questions, declarations of love can be posted here or I'm on tumblr at sarthefirst.tumblr.com


	4. How Many Minutes After Eating Do You Have To Wait To Die From Embarrassment?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burritos.

“Hey wait up!”

Before Carmilla's eyes could even finish going around a full 360 degrees, Laura was at her side. “What do you want?” She asked, pushing open the double doors and entering the building.

This didn't stop the other girl as they both walked through the entrance way and into the main hallway. “Where are you going?” She asked.

“I'm getting lunch. What does it look like?” Carmilla said, taking her place in the line for a burrito. The food area was too loud to hold a proper discussion, for which Carmilla was grateful. The other girl even seemed to catch onto this fact, walking into a throng of students fighting for a spot to get food during the diminishing free hour. “Black beans, no meat, the works.” She gave her order, her voice barely audible over the loud masses.

Thankfully, she only had to say it once as the guy behind the counter smiled knowingly and started making her order. Okay, so maybe she came here a lot and the guy behind the counter was actually a friend at this point, but who could deny the allure of burritos?

She handed over her red student card to the cashier as her order was rung up. With an appreciative smile, Carmilla took the container holding her burrito and the accompanying chips from the woman behind the register. “I'm a fan of burritos,” Laura's voice came out of nowhere, causing Carmilla to jump and spill half the chips onto the tiled floor. “But after having Chipotle, you really can't go to the knock off store on campus.”

“Shit!” Her heart rate was starting to steady on the 'panicking' level and she couldn't wait for it to return back to normal. “What the hell?” Laura was standing in front of her holding a small plate with a slice of pizza threatening to fall off.

“Normally I don't get the pizza, but it's quick.” The smaller girl took a bite of the slice that was hanging off of the plate and chewed through her next sentence. “At the end of the semester though, when I have some leftover cash on my campus card, I like to get calzones. When I was little, Dad and I-”

Okay, that was enough. “Stop. Just- just stop.” Carmilla looked around, hoping to see some cameras and a host about to jump out explaining she's just been punk'd. Instead, she just saw a line of annoyed college students waiting to pay for their fake Mexican food. Seeing no other option, she sighed and accepted the inevitable: Laura was tagging along. “C'mon.” She muttered, taking her food and heading towards the dining area.

“How many classes for your major are you taking this semester?” Laura asked as Carmilla took a seat on one of the bar stools lining the the back wall. “I was going to take this class called _Witchcraft In Modern Times_ but it conflicted with my _Digital Journalism_ class.”

The girl's words were even making burritos unappetizing. “What are you doing, cupcake?” She sighed, turning on the stool to look at the brunette beside her. To be perfectly honest, Carmilla couldn't understand what part of her screamed 'come talk to me' while sitting on row of bar stools that were normally sat in if one was by themselves.

Apparently, her existence.

Laura took another bite of her pizza and barely swallowed before more words tumbled out of her mouth. “We have to get to know each other.”

“We have three whole days to get to know each other.”

“Two and a half, technically. And my name's Laura.”

“What?”

“My name is Laura. Laura Hollis. Not croissant or cupcake or cronut or...” Did the other girl actually sigh in a way that might be considered as “angrily”? Huh. That was almost adorable.

Carmilla hid her smirk by taking another bite of burrito-y goodness. Okay, well, maybe she's been a jerk for long enough. And to be fair, they _did_ have to get to know each other a bit better to play this off. Mother would be asking questions no one would have even thought to ask and Mattie would be filling the big sister role... they needed to be able to cover themselves well.

She swallowed and turned towards the other girl to face her. “Philosophy. Teach. Black. Cougar. History Channel documentaries- specifically about the world wars. Cat person. One sister, one brother, all three of us adopted. Three for the major, two for electives and one that doubles as both.” Carmilla relished in the look of shock on Laura's face as the gerbil in her brain struggled to keep up with the sudden influx of information.

With a smirk she turned back to her burrito, anticipating only a bite or two of silence before the annoying one broke it. “You want to be a... teacher?” The other girl's question was so asked so skeptically that, if it could, Laura's eyebrow would be raising an eyebrow.

“You sound surprised.” To put it mildly.

Flustered, the brunette started to backtrack. “It's not that I don't think you'd be a great teacher, I mean, I'm sure you would be. You're totally super smart, I'm sure. And you can't base a person's future on their personality after meeting them for five minutes and you're probably a completely different person after getting to know you. I mean, obviously you are, LaFontaine hasn't said they want to experiment on you yet so obviously-”

This whole 'rambling-flustered-Laura' was adorably cute, but horribly annoying. “Sundance.” The other girl's eyes locked on her own the instant she spoke. “Breathe.” It was said with a smirk, of course, but it wasn't malicious. “And yes. A teacher. I like history. Philosophy with history minor.” Carmilla smiled fondly as she thought more about it. “There something amazing about these huge events that when you dig down into them they're just about regular people trying to make tough choices.” Despite the pensive tone of voice this admission was spoken with, Laura started to squeal and clap her hands in excitement. Carmilla's scowl returned, staring at the smaller girl. “What?”

“Look at you!” It was almost as Laura was presented with a lifetime of cookies. “You have feelings!”

She was going to kill LaFontaine.


	5. Getting to Know Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I've been sick.  
> I tried to reread it but I favoured a series of naps instead.  
> Sorry for any future mistakes.  
> Thanks for hanging in there with me :)

The last two days were excruciating to live through. Her initial prediction of Laura being a human fire cracker was obnoxiously accurate. Laura ensured that the two of them would eat lunch together every day (despite Carmilla's many attempts to lose the tiny girl in the crowds) and even stole Carmilla's laptop to get a copy of her schedule.

That was during free hour on Wednesday. Laura didn't even wait a full twenty four hours.

“Isn't it bad enough I see you at lunch? Why do you have the need to come and annoy me after my classes?” She had asked Laura, watching the other girl click through the school's webpage to the 'student schedule' section.

The brunette, obviously starting to get used to Carmilla's tone, rolled her eyes with a smile. “Because we need to get to know each other better. You still get all stiff when I hold your hand-”

“- because I'm not used to that so energy surging through that small of a space-”

“- and your family will never believe you do more than tolerate me-”

“- because I don't-”

“- and LaF told me about your situation at home so I know you want to prove it to them. I'd go so far to say that you're only acting all callous and indifferent because you have to do this at all.”

Carmilla clenched her fists. So Brainy Ginger was blabbing about her behind her back- and about one of their most taboo topics.

Closing the laptop lid, clearly done with whatever task she set out for herself, Laura caught onto Carmilla's irritation... not that it was subtle or anything. “They didn't tell me anything personal. Just that you came out to them and your mom is kind of hardcore.” This did little to change Carmilla's expression. “I just know it's hard to tell people and sometimes you have to ease them into it... other times it's just best for them not to know, right?” Silence. “Well that last bit isn't the case now so the least you can do is help me try to be convincing.”

“'Hardcore'... well that's one way to describe Mother.” Carmilla muttered. It must have been LaFontaine's word... it sounded like one of theirs. “You don't know anything about what I have to deal at home, okay? We don't need to get to know each other better. We just need to suck it up and pretend we like each other.”

“That's not going to fool anyone.”

Carmilla laughed a little bitterly. “It'll be good enough for me.”

“Will it be good enough for your mother?” Laura asked, leaning back against a column with a smirk on her face. They weren't even having a serious argument and Laura was looking as if she just won the lottery.

She shrugged. “Who knows? Probably not. Nothing I end up doing is good enough for her.” Laura frowned but Carmilla waved it off. “Don't. Mattie and Will are just as much of a disappointment to her so it's not like I'm special here.”

“Then why are you doing something you clearly don't want to do just to make your mom believe you have a girlfriend?”

A hollow laugh escaped her. “Why does any child do something they don't want to do?” A beat. “To try to make their parents proud of them.” Carmilla knew that her mother held her to a higher standard than her siblings, or at the very least, the illusion was there.

The girl looked pensive for a moment before speaking slowly, carefully fine-tuning her thoughts. “Sometimes that's not possible.”

It was a weird moment, hearing that bit of pessimism from the usually bouncing ball of joy that sat in front of her. “What do you know about it?” Carmilla scoffed. Disappointment to her was probably getting a low, but not failing, grade on an assignment.

Laura looked down at her hands, fingers interlacing and untwisting from each other on top of the laptop. “I had to tell my parents I was gay when I was in high school. Dad's a nice guy, really, but he's fairly set in traditional values. It took me forever to girl the hell up and tell him. Even longer for him to be okay with it. I mean, he loves me, hasn't kicked me out and doesn't tell me to go to hell so that's neat. Mom though...” She trailed off and took a deep breath. “She left soon after. Apparently she was waiting for an excuse to leave my father, and me being a lesbian was her final straw.” Her eyes finally moved away from her fingers and stared into Carmilla's. “So yeah. I might know something about it.”

Huh.  
Well.  
That's a new one.

Carmilla raised an eyebrow at the girl in front of her for a moment before her laptop was being shoved back into her lap and Laura was taking out her phone. “Okay so other than lunches, it looks like we both have breaks from 3:30-”

And so it went.

Laura would inevitably find Carmilla after one of her classes and the two of them would engage in what the smaller girl called “hang out times”. Wednesday afternoon it took place on the quad next to the “steps” that were actually just tiered grass landings. Carmilla managed to escape for a solitary dinner (“If you won't want me to rip off your head before the weekend, you'll let me have this meal to myself”) but was roped into watching some show on Netflix with Laura that evening.

They were in Carmilla's room, sitting on her bed with Laura's laptop between them. “Sense8 is kind of hard to keep track of at first, but once everything picks up and you understand what's going on, it's really interesting,” LaFontaine was out for the evening, at least that was what they told her and she was inclined to believe it. She really didn’t need her roommate to mock Laura’s cuddling body or her head on Carmilla’s shoulder. To be perfectly honest, she didn't know how it happened- last she checked the smaller girl was sitting upright, the next she was… this.

“I like the DJ chick.” Laura had been bugging her all night to have some sort of opinion on _something_

The other girl laughed. “You would. I like Will and Nomi.” Laura snuggled more into her side. Carmilla wondered momentarily if the smaller girl was actually just a groundhog or something. The girl buried herself in blankets, sweatshirts and, apparently, Carmilla.

But instead she raised an eyebrow and looked down at the top of Laura’s head. “The police dude and the blogger?” Carmilla let out a long sigh, prompting Laura to laugh as her head descended a few inches on her shoulder in the process. “I can’t say I’m surprised, cupcake.”

This must have struck some sort of nerve in Laura, as she promptly sat up and looked offended (although Carmilla might be better at reading her after a day and a half because she thinks the look is fake). “Why do you say that?”

“Really, Lauronica Mars?” The other girl flushed a deep shade of red before returning to her position against Carmilla’s shoulder. Carmilla grew stiff for a second before letting Laura ease into her. Honestly, it wasn't so bad… if she tried to ignore it, the weight was almost unnoticeable. 

They went back to quietly watching the show with Laura giving occasional (mostly unwanted) commentary. It still astounded Carmilla that there were so many pointless facts to be shared- didn’t the show just come out? The characters were singing some song when the door of dorm flew open, letting in a laughing LaFontaine and Perry. 

LaFontaine glanced over at them and smiled. “Aw. Look at the happy couple.”

“Shut up, Bio Ginger.” Carmilla muttered.

Laura's hand moved to her thigh and squeezed gently. “Be nice. They're just trying to help you.” The other girl didn't move her head from her shoulder and her voice was soft.

“You think your mom's not gonna say something like that?” LaFontaine laughed a little, earning a playful slap on the shoulder from Perry. “I'm just throwing you two through the paces.”

Carmilla shrugged using her unoccupied shoulder. “We still have a whole day for you to mock my situation.”

At her words, Laura sat up, removing her hand from Carmilla's leg. “I have so much planned for tomorrow. Well, not really, but Carmilla doesn't have that many Thursday classes and mine are all over by the time she starts so we'll have plenty of time to hang out!”

Perry gave a warm smile at them. “That sounds fantastic! I'm glad you're both not trying to kill each other anymore.”

The two spoke at the same time:  
“I never did that.”  
“We got past it.”

This brought a knowing smirk out of LaFontaine. “Okay you two. Whatever you say.”

“Are you staying here with Twiddle-Dee or do we get to be relieved of your presence?” Carmilla grumbled, sending a sneer in the redhead's direction.

“Don't mind Carm, she lashes out at people when she's bored.” Laura laughed. Carmilla looked over at her and raised an eyebrow at the nickname. No one ever gave her nicknames outside of her family (and was 'kitty' a real nickname anyway? Or was her brother just a weird one?). 

LaFontaine shrugged and jumped onto their bed before reaching forward and pulling Perry back to join them. “We're actually in for the night. I managed to get Perry off duty tonight so we're going to enjoy it.”

Their devilish grin was met by a frown from Perry. “Next time can you _please_ refrain from blowing up something if you want to hang out? I could easily have just switched duty hours with another floor don...”

“Like you'd actually miss an opportunity to mother someone.” Their heart eyes were too much for Carmilla, who gagged. LaFontaine rolled their eyes at the noise but looked back at the two on the opposite bed. “You guys up for some Doctor Who? The eighth season's now on Netflix!”

A high pitch squeal came out of the body next to Carmilla, leaving her ears ringing. It was going to be a long night.


	6. What's the Backstory?

Excited shouts rang through the quad, making their way through the thin walls of Carmilla and LaFontaine's dorm room. With a small grunt, Carmilla grabbed her blanket and pulled it over her head. It was way too early for her to be conscious and actively thinking. She peeked out of a small hole in her covers to glance at LaFontaine's clock: 12:28.

She threw the covers back over her head.

While Perry and Laura had left their room at a reasonable hour (the former complaining about having to do rounds and the latter complaining about a… bedtime?) it was still too early to exist. Carmilla spent most of the night reading and didn't get to sleep until late, as per usual. So whoever was making enough noise to wake the dead outside were going to _become_ dead if she had anything to say about it.

Taking a deep breath, Carmilla peeked out from under her blankets to look around the room. LaFontaine wasn't in, which was predictable as no one had mocked her in the two minutes she's been awake, but it was nice to verify. Sleep still heavy in her eyes, Carmilla reached out to her desk and started patting the edge blindly for her phone.

A few taps and a swipe opened up her calendar and showed that she had nothing due today. Perfect. She tossed the phone back onto the desk, flopped back onto the bed and went back to sleep.

What felt like seconds later, pounding fists on wood (or at the very least wood substitute), woke Carmilla up. Grumbling to herself, she swung her legs off of her bed and started walking over to the front of her room. Whoever was on the other side of that door was going to pay a horrible, grizzly death.

Opening up the door revealed the small but seemingly hyperactive form of Laura Hollis.

Before she could take a breath, Laura brushed past her into the dorm room and started doing that thing with her mouth again.

Talking.

“What are you doing here? You had class an hour ago and you weren't there! You could have missed something important! Maybe your professor gave a pop quiz! Or told everyone a secret about the final! How could you just be here? Sleeping? Do you have no respect for the professors here? Or for whoever's paying for your education? If you're on scholarships, you can bet the minute they find out you're not going to class they'll-”

“Cupcake.” Carmilla sighed, bringing her fingers to the bridge of her nose. “Calm down.” There was someone in the furthest circle of hell who had it out for her, she was sure. She yawned, stretching her arms out above her head and twisting to crack her back. “Nothing was due today.” She said lazily, moving to sit on her bed.

This was the wrong thing, as Laura started sputtering, running her hands through her hair.“Nothing was- Nothing was _due_?”

“That's right, cutie.” She sighed, reaching to the shelf above the bed and grabbing an old, worn copy with the author _Albert Camus_ barely visible on the spine. With a smile that mixed both her contentedness with the situation and the normal amount of snark, she laid back onto her bed and opened the book. “Don't stress your little freshman brain out about it.” She said. “You too will get to the point where skipping unnecessary classes is normal.”

Laura gave a loud huff and sat on the bed, forcing Carmilla's feet closer to the wall in the process. “Seriously?” It was hard to take Laura seriously (and consider her angry) when the bunched up face she makes is just too adorable.

Carmilla shrugged then returned to her book. Maybe she could finish a whole paragraph before Laura interrupts her again-

“Okay, no!” The completion of rest of the chapter was surely just to remain a dream then, wasn't it? “If you're skipping classes today, then at the very least you're going to be productive.”

“I'm reading, aren't I?” The emotionless drawl just seemed to rally the smaller girl up even more.

Carmilla thinks she found a new favorite game to play.

Laura turned and brought herself up to sit cross-legged on the dark comforter. “Focus!” She snapped, reaching forward and grabbing the book from Carmilla's hands. Carmilla raised an eyebrow with a semi-murderous look on her face. “Your mom is going to want to know the details!” An impassive sigh spurred her to continue. “How did we meet?”

“LaFontaine.”

“Give me more.” She threw the book over onto LaFontaine's bed. Carmilla looked over at it wistfully.

“Seriously?” Maybe the small girl was capable of feeling an emotion other than sugar highs and excitement. “Fine.” There was a pause as Carmilla bit on her lower lip in thought. “They attempted to help me be social and you were at a lunch. You wouldn't leave me the hell alone so we got to know each other.” This was all said with a rather cheery voice and fake grin on her face.

“Good!” Finally, the girl was satisfied. “First kiss?”

Carmilla sighed and waved her hand with a nonchalant wave. “I dunno. Under the stars.”

“Detail, Carm!” Damnit, that nickname was staying, wasn't it? “You have an older sister and from what I know about older siblings, they'll ask all these annoying questions in detail.”

Another eyebrow was raised at the words. “Aren't you an only child?”

Now it was Laura's turn to wave her hand brush and brush off a comment. “Not the point and you know it.” The glare she received was on par with one of her own so why not play along with the girl's game?

Carmilla reached up and brushed her hair back before her a few strands fell lightly over her ear. “Alright then. Let's see if my creative writing class last semester paid off.”

“You took a creative writing class?” Laura scoffed. “It must have been something like _Brooding in Poetry 101_ , wasn't it?” She laughed at her own joke and when Carmilla scoffed, moved over beside her; pushing lightly on the dark haired girl's shoulder with her own.

She scolded at Laura, annoyed that her thirty seconds of cooperation was already proving to be a poor life choice. This was why she didn't do it often. “Do you want your details or not?”

Laura rolled her eyes and mumbled a disgruntled “Fine, Grump McGee“ before letting Carmilla continue.

“You're the one who thinks up the ridiculous idea of date night- Thursdays because we don't have class on the next day and it's the only night I can convince you to stay up as late as I do normally. Or you try, anyway.” Laura laughed at this, bringing the beginnings of a grin to the edges of Carmilla's lips. “We alternate ideas for each week… which was also your idea. Mostly to force me to romance you or something. As if I wasn't romantic in every day interactions.”

To this, Carmilla flipped her hair over her shoulder as if she were a vain teenage girl. She even added a scoff to really sell the point home. “I firmly believe that if you truly fell in love for a girl, you'd woo the daylights out of them.” Laura laughed. “If I have to give you credit for anything, I have to admit that you're passionate about what you love.”

Carmilla put her hand over her heart. “I'm touched.” She deadpanned. After a second, she took a deep breath and continued. “Anyway. It was my Thursday and I brought you to the roof of the Math and Psychology building. Because I'm annoyed at your constant accusations of not being romantic, I have a blanket laid out and we lay down to stargaze. About an hour through, I produce a bottle of wine.“

“Where did you get wine from?” Laura asked, slightly shocked. She seemed genuinely interested, not just prodding for more details for the weekend.

“I have my sources.” Carmilla responded, a flirtatious smirk playing on her lips. If her tone bothered Laura, it didn't show on her face.

Rather the other girl smiled, rolling her eyes. ”Of course you do.”

“Don't worry. LaFontaine warned me that you get tipsy easily so I cut you off.”

“They _what_?”

Carmilla nodded, an amused smile on her face. “I let you have a full two cups before taking it away because we don't need you passing out on me. But you get clingy when you get tipsy-”

Laughter swallowed the “I'm going to _kill_ LaFontaine” that managed to get out of Laura.

“So we're laying there on our backs and you're all curled up next to me because you're an actual groundhog and I start pointing out the constellations. You don't know them all… or any of them… so you start making some up yourself. The Giant Cookie is one, of course, and TARDIS because you couldn't be a bigger nerd if you tried.”

“Oh my gosh.” Laura blushed and turned her face into Carmilla's shoulder as she continued.

“See? Actual groundhog. But because I'm a nice person, I ask you to point them out to me. I reach up and you grab my hand and point me in the right sections of the sky. I intertwine our fingers and bring our hands between us because you're not even looking at the freaking sky anymore.”

The smaller girl looked up from her place in the nook between Carmilla's shoulder and neck. “Yeah?” She had a faraway look on her face.

“Yup. So I pull you towards me and-”

Before she could finish, Laura leans up and brings their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This played out a whole lot better in my head.  
> Hope you guys liked it.


	7. A Message

**_“What do you want?”_ **

**_Beeeeeep._ **

“Carmilla, dear! You know how unprofessional it is to let your phone go to voice mail during the day? Companies need to be able to reach you at any time of day, especially after interviews. Anyway. I just wanted to remind you that you you promised to be at the house for dinner tomorrow. Matska's going to be in by sundown and you know how I like to be punctual.

Oh. And tell William that his girlfriend is absolutely uninvited from Friday's event. I heard what she said about me during my discussion with William yesterday. Just because speaker phone is not on does not mean I cannot hear her in the background.

Silly tramp.

Your girlfriend, on the other hand, is not only expected but I am simply thrilled to meet her. Lauren, isn't it? I am sure my most competent child manged to find and excellent girl. Matska will be excited to meet her as well. You two have always gotten along quite nicely.

Also. Don't forget to pick up a bottle of wine. A bottle of _nice_ wine. It's such a disappointment when you bring one of the ones from the liquor store near campus. It's never any good, no matter what your sister says.

See you tomorrow. Ta tah!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day?  
> Gasp.
> 
> PS: Sorry manipulative!Mother isn't my forte. I hope y'all are picking up on that.


	8. Lips On Lips

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dad decided to one-up my sickness from the other week and got admitted to the hospital tonight.  
> So you guys get the chapter a day early. Because guess where I'll probably be tomorrow.  
> Hint: Not finishing up chapter 8 after work like I normally do.

Lips moved smoothly across one another, smiles forming on their edges. It was blissful for a few seconds until across the room, Carmilla's phone went off. The girls jumped apart as if a shot of electricity ran between them. The phone continued to vibrate as Carmilla stared at the girl in front of her. Neither of them could say anything, instead choosing to look at each other as if they were the only ones in the world.

Carmilla broke the silence after the phone vibrated for a second time. “What the hell, creampuff?” She asked, her heart racing. She had kissed Laura back, but it was only for a second, right? And they broke apart when the phone went off. Carmilla totally would have done that even if the phone didn't decide to ruin their not-moment. Right?

“Crap.” Laura brought her hands up and covered her face the best she could (Carmilla wouldn't tell her that she could still see the redness of her cheeks outside of her tiny hands). “Sorry… I didn't… I was caught up in the moment and...” She sighed and pulled her hands away, her face threatening to match LaFontaine's hair. “Ugh. I'm sorry.” She waved her hands wildly. “Get your phone. Pretend I didn't do something incredibly stupid.”

The phone vibrated again, but Carmilla didn't move.

She let out a shaky breath. “It's… it's fine.” Carmilla muttered, running her hand through her hair. “I was caught off guard.”

“It doesn't mean I should have-”

“You know my inability to be affectionate-”

“I should have asked-”

“While considerate, it doesn't matter-”

_BuzzBuzzBuzz_

“Are you going to get that?”

“I'm sure it's no one important. Voice mail will grab it.”

Carmilla got up and walked towards the wardrobe in the back of the room. Silently, she opened the door and started looking through the possessions inside. “What are you doing?” Laura's voice was quiet as Carmilla started to dig through a pile of clothing.

“What does it look like? I'm going out, cutie.” She said, words echoing slightly in the closet. Finding what she was looking for, a small black backpack, she straightened up and closed the door.

Carmilla heard the bed creak; she turned around to see Laura standing up, her arms crossed and a hurt look on her face. “Why do you do that?” She looked at the bag in her hand and raised an eyebrow. “Every time we do anything that might actually sell the idea that we're dating to someone else, you close up or ditch me to do something else.”

She shrugged and swung the bag over her shoulder. “It's not my fault you want to have a heart-to-heart when I have a meeting in a half hour.”

“I can't believe you!” Laura threw her hands in up, aggravated with anger written on her face. “Ten minutes ago you were fine with the whole thing! You were going along with it and making up backstory.” It was like someone took a knife to Laura's heart and twisted it; her voice was nearly broken. “It took you forever just to hold my hand.”

A silence fell between them as Carmilla slowly tilted her head to the side and inspected Laura. “Why do you care?” She asked, straightening up. “You literally have nothing to gain from this arrangement. Hell, I'd think that you'd risk having arguments with Amazon by hanging out with me.”

To this, Laura shrugged and stuck her hands in her jean pockets. “A favor to LaFontaine. They asked nicely-” Carmilla scoffed, mostly at the idea of LaFontaine being calm enough to ask nicely. “-and maybe I think you don't deserve to be left to the mercy of your mother alone.”

“Don't do me any favors there, creampuff.” Carmilla glanced at the clock then looked back at Laura. She reached over, grabbed her phone off of the desk and slipped it into her back pocket. “Ignoring my obvious distaste of sharing personal space and emotions in general...” She moved forward and placed a small peck of a kiss on Laura's cheek before pulling back and putting on a slightly falsetto voice. “See you around, honeybun.”

She was out of the dorm with a small wave of her fingers before Laura blinked.

On the other side of the door, Carmilla turned and rested her head on the cement blocks of the hallway. What was she doing? She needed to take off before Laura decided to leave the room and see her contemplating instead of having left after an exit like that. (It was a classic and damn her to hell if she was caught screwing it up.) She pushed off the wall and briskly made her way down the hall and out of the dorm.

What the hell had she been thinking? She had known the other girl for _maybe_ 24 hours- there should been zero lip-on-lip interaction in that interval. Most couples - no, not couples. They were totally not a couple. They were people- waited weeks, if not months, for a first kiss, right?

To be fair to the non-relationship thing she had with Laura, the only real time Carmilla was in a relationship was with Elle and that… that was it's own disaster. So sue Carmilla for being careful with whatever was developing between the two of them. Friendship. Obviously. Nothing else. Maybe. It was one thing to go along with an act and watch a movie with the girl or make up silly stories to make Laura _stop bugging the living shit_ out of Carmilla. It was another to kiss her and have emotions and feelings and… affection. 

As she shuddered at the thought, her phone buzzed once more in her pocket. With a sigh, she reached and saw the notification for a new voice mail. The caller list didn't record who tried calling her, so after dialling the right number and entering her pin (1-6-9-8) she pressed the phone to her ear.

Two minutes and 45 seconds later, Carmilla was standing still in the middle of the Commons, refraining from punching each student passing by her chattering happily square in the mouth. Her grip on the phone tightened further as she continued to stand in the middle of the hall, seething and trying to calm herself down.

Not only did she have to manage her own puppy at the dinner tomorrow - oh crap it was tomorrow, wasn't it? - but she had to make sure Will didn't commit matricide. And Laura was right (damnit), Mattie was going to lap up the story about them dating.

They shared a special sisterly bond that not even adoption can break.  
Gossiping.  
Lots of gossiping while they lived in the same house.

Okay. She needed to pass on this message to Laura and see if the girl would be willing to fork over some cash for the wine. Mother may not like the stuff from the liquor store, but it wasn't like Carmilla had money to burn for family dinners.

Unlocking the phone's screen once more, she opened up Laura's text message thread. It was 94% messages from Laura asking what time she was out of class and what movies she liked to watch at night and 6% Carmilla telling Laura to chill. This time, Carmilla started the conversation: “Dinner tonight? Dhall after my class? I won't judge you for your cookie consumption.”

After a deep breath she pressed the send button, pocketing the device before getting in line for a burrito. “Hit me, Burrito Man.” She said to the man behind the counter with a knowing smile. She momentarily wondered if this exchange meant she came here too often.

A buzz in her pocket cut off the train of thought as she watched the fixings of deliciousness got piled in. “You're on. Table in the back. And I won't judge you for the fact you're probably getting *another* burrito.”

Carmilla scoffed.  
Lucky guess.


	9. I'm Coming Home...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for the kind words for my dad.  
> He came back from the hospital early this week and is doing well.
> 
> On the other hand, I think a good chunk of you are angry that they didn't just keep kissing forever last chapter.  
> I hope the bit of fluff here makes it up to you!

“Carmilla! Darling!” Her mother kissed both of her cheeks and pulled back, inviting the two girls into the house. Taking a deep breath, Carmilla crossed over the threshold, feeling Laura follow her lead.

Mother reached forward and grabbed the bottle of wine that Laura held. She inspected it with a small, disappointed sigh. “I'm a fan of red, but it'll do.” 

Carmilla couldn't care less- Laura told her she liked white one day as she talked endlessly while Carmilla read her book.

“Matska is up in her room, if you wish to see her.” Without another word, Mother walked off towards the kitchen, leaving the two girls alone in the foyer.

Even though it didn't take long, after the small ambush her mother performed, the silence was welcome. It let her put down her bags and take in the surroundings. Her childhood home, just as she remembered it, stood before her. To the right was the dining room, visibly set for five (although it looked disproportionate which reminded her of Will's uninvited girlfriend). She could see a sliver of the kitchen through the hallway ahead of them, but instead decided to focus on the large stairwell slightly to the left, before the entrance to the living room.

She could see the godforsaken piano sitting a small distance from the fireplace inside the den. She shivered, fighting off memories of those ivory keys. “Nice place.” Laura breathed, taking it all in and ripping her out of her memories. Carmilla felt a little sorry- she didn't bother to warn the other girl about the large house they'd be staying in for the next few days.

“Yeah.” She said quietly. “I come from money.”

“No kidding.”

The sound of running footsteps echoed from upstairs. “Did I hear that Carmilla's home?” The two girls looked up to see a figure leaning over the railing, the chandelier above them hiding their features. The unspoken question was answered as a high pitched squeal echoed through the cavernous entrance. Laura covered her ears, crouching from the high pitched sound waves reflecting off of every angle.

Footsteps pounded down the stairs as a dark woman fled into Carmilla's arms. “Mattie!” She deadpanned. The other girl was a good head taller than Carmilla and seemingly four times as energetic. “When did you get into town?”

“Last night. And don't “Mattie” me, you little monster. From what I hear, you're up to your gorgeous neck in this mess, Sis.” The woman nodded towards Laura at the end of her statement.

Carmilla glanced over over at Laura to see her blushing furiously. “What do you mean mess?” She asked, starting to panic internally. How did Mattie know that Laura was just pretending? Did she know that every move either of them made sent her into a mild panic attack and bout of self consciousness?

Her sister scoffed. “Well now you're in big trouble. You told me things were going fine at school but you never mentioned a _girlfriend_. I had to find out from Maman, of all people!” Mattie playfully hit her on the shoulder. Carmilla hoped she didn't feel the shrug of her shoulders due to rather relieved breath she finally let out.

Instead she gave a nervous laugh, pushing back her hair. “Well, you know how it is. University. _College_.” A scoff. “Even the name itself sounds meddlesome and pretentious.”

“Aren't you going to introduce me?” Mattie asked turning to Laura who was doing a very good job of shrinking into a tiny, unnoticeable ball. A hand shot out, which Laura took after only a brief glance at Carmilla. “Matska. But you can call me Mattie. Carmilla's older sister. Adopted, of course, but we're basically blood. And when he comes, don't judge either of us by Will's behavior. He's not as… refined as Carmilla and I.” She turned towards Carmilla. “I always told Maman we should have sent him to finishing school.”

“Well as much fun as this little reunion has been,” Carmilla drawled, picking up her backpack and giving Laura a knowing sideways glance, “Laura's cheeks are going to increase global warming and we have some bags that have an appointment with my floor.”

Mattie grinned, bringing her hands to her lips in a (poor) attempt to hide her smile. “Okay. Fine. I can wait to hear all about you two and all about your _shenanigans_ at school.” Carmilla was only 10% sure that Mattie just asked to hear about their imaginary sexcapades. “Maman and I have lots of plans for the weekend though. So don't think you'll be having too much time to yourselves tomorrow.”

“Well damn.”  
“Aw, shucks!”

While Carmilla's response was dry and sarcastic, Laura's was genuine and heartfelt. The smaller girl reached forward and grabbed Carmilla's hand, squeezing it slightly. “Well we'll be right upstairs for a bit. Getting settled in, you know.” Laura rambled, pulling at Carmilla's arm lightly. “Come on, Carm. I want to see your room.” At Carmilla's rolled eyes, Laura walked her free hand's fingers up the conjoined arms. “We have a bit of time before dinner, you know. We could… play some games… like... doctor...”

“It won't be too long, dears!” Mother's voice rang from the kitchen where a blender was heard starting to whir. “Keep it PG-13!” 

The warning was shouted over the noise, prompting Mattie to laugh and move towards the kitchen. “I'll go help Maman. You two go get settled.”

Laura let out an unnatural giggle and pulled on Carmilla's arm again, this time pulling her towards the staircase. She followed, smirking slightly and emotionally torn between believing the look was because of the part she was playing and the fact she genuinely thought that Laura looked adorable.

After they climbed the stairs, their hands remained interlocked as Carmilla led them into her childhood room. Laura ran her thumb over Carmilla's as she closed the door behind them. The room looked the same since she left for school just a few months prior. “Welcome to Casa de Carmilla.” She said, letting go of Laura's hand to drop her backpack on the floor, cross the room and flop onto the bed. 

The other girl laughed and put her own bag on the floor. “So luxurious. I think I might go bankrupt by the amount of _sweg_ in here.” She mocked, running her hands over the too-short dresser. 

“...Sweg?” Carmilla asked, lifting an eyebrow. Sure it was a bit low to mock the girl's accent but it was adorable.

“Swag.” Laura laughed, trying hard to force the appropriate sounds to come out. “Don't mock me when I have more arsenal than you.” She turned her back to the bed and started looking through one of drawers. Laura turned around to hold up a pair of underwear covered in pink and purple flowers. “What are these, Carm?”

Blood rushed up to her cheeks. “Oh hell...” She muttered, lying down and moving to hide her face behind her palms. “Mother got me an atrocious pack of underwear when I was little. I haven't gotten around to throwing all of them away.” She muttered. 

The bed sagged a little and a gentle force pulled her hands away from her face. Carmilla found herself staring into Laura's eyes instead of the blackness of her skin pressed against her. “It's okay. After my mom left, dad tried to be both parents and got me some really embarrassing clothes for a while.” Laura spoke as if they weren't separated by mere inches. “Although there was one owl sweater I really liked...”

They lay there in silence for a few moments before loud footsteps out in the hall broke the lull. Carmilla leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Laura's lips as the door to her room burst open. “Come on, love birds. Will's here. Time for dinner.” Mattie's voice went in one ear and out the other as Laura started to kiss her back.

When they pulled apart, her sister was gone and the quiet sound of chatter could be heard from downstairs. Laura's cheeks were slightly pink as she sat back up. “Good idea, getting us caught.” She said quietly. “I think Mattie's sold on us.” She stood up and offered her hand out to Carmilla, who took it after a momentary pause.

“Yeah. Mattie's sold.” Carmilla repeated as she stood up and intertwined their fingers. “Come on. While Mother's her own special brand of evil, her grilled salmon is the best in the city.”

Laura smiled knowingly. “You told her I was a pescatarian?” Carmilla shrugged before Laura tugged her out of the room, laughing as they descended the stairs to meet the others in the dining room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys again so much for the comments and kudos!!


	10. Dinner Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with my graduate classes and 2nd job starting up this week, updates might move from Thursdays to Fridays. It might depend. Dunno yet.
> 
> Also! Fun fact: When I was driving home today thinking about the next chapter, I forgot what the plot of the fic was.  
> ...  
> I need sleep.

Carmilla led Laura into the dining room to see the rest of her family milling about the table behind their seats, obviously waiting for the two of them to come downstairs. “About time you two arrived.” Mother's voice was cheery but Carmilla could see the hints of disappointment behind them.

The only two open seats were on the other side of the room in front of the chiffonier. With little room between the cabinet and the table, it wasn't exactly Carmilla's favorite place to sit at dinner and but now she had to squish not only Laura but the weird feeling in her stomach between the two wooden pieces of furniture as well?

“Sorry, Mother. We got distracted.” Carmilla said softly, grabbing Laura's hand and leading her around her Mother's seat at the head of the table.

Mattie's grin was nearly too big for her face. “Oh don't worry, dears. We weren't waiting long!”

“Don't listen to her, I'm starving.” Will laughed, pulling out his chair before sliding into it. Mother sent him a sharp stare that Laura, thankfully, didn't seem to pick up.

She pulled out Laura's chair and acted the dutiful hostess while she focused more on the twisting ache distracting her thoughts. It wasn't cramps, the annoying pain was too high for that… not to mention it wasn't even her time to hurt. “Help yourselves, everyone.” Mother spoke, hands started serving food all while Carmilla stared blankly ahead to her empty plate.

Carmilla became aware of this particular unpleasant sensation right when Laura pulled out a pair of period-underwear. A mixture of embarrassment and joy that turned into a small burst of excitement when she leaned in to kiss her. Why?

They didn't need to kiss. No, for their cover there was no _need_ for her to kiss the other girl. But there was something, that stupid pain in her stomach, that told her that _she_ needed to kiss Laura. It just happened to occur at a perfect time to coincide with their cover.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

They've known each other for a week. She can't have feelings for the tiny girl. She barely had feelings for anyone, much less anyone like Laura. It's absurd, not to mention illogical. It was obviously because they were faking feelings, right? That would explain the kiss back on campus, the cuddling, the kiss back in her room…

Any other theory was completely-

“-insane! Isn't it Carm?” Will said with a grin full of green beans.

Carmilla blinked and focused back in on the people surrounding her, trying to figure out the context of the conversation. “Totally.” She said, not having a single clue what was being talked about.

She gave a weak smile and reached forward to take a piece of fish. “So how did you two get to know each other?” Mattie asked, putting the spoon back into bowl of couscous.

“Her roommate introduced us.” Laura said cheerily. “LaFontaine invited me over for a movie night and we got along right away.” Mattie's face lit up at the story, so Laura took the cue and continued. “Babe, do you remember what movie it was?”

Carmilla feigned a look of remembrance while trying to come up with a movie title. “Cabin in the Woods.” She gave a dark laugh, recalling the last movie she saw on her own in the darkness of her dorm room. “It was basically a blood bath.” She looked over to Laura, who gave her a significant look. “Laura here didn't like it, so she was curled up to me the entire time.” She added quickly.

That seemed to suit Laura who smiled and eagerly returned to her food. She reached forward, grabbing the couscous and pulling it towards her before serving herself a spoonful.

“Laura. What do you study?”

“I'm currently a media communications major with a minor in journalism, but I've been thinking about switching those-”

“Carmilla, darling, are you going to eat all that?” Carmilla looked to her right to see Mother acknowledging her plate with a small nod. She looked down to see her plate- a slice of fish, some string beans and a scoop of couscous.

She looked back up to Mother, knowing exactly what she was trying to get at. Before she was able to respond, Laura nudged her with an elbow and brought her back to the main conversation. “What? Sorry. I wasn't listening.”

Will rolled his eyes but repeated his question anyway, he was expecting the inattentiveness. “I asked how your classes were going. You're still a philosophy major?”

Laura beamed in her direction as she nodded, picking up her fork and spearing a green bean. She half-mindedly folded it and speared the other end so it formed an ark around the prongs. “Yup. It's actually really interesting, I have a class called _Kant's Ethics_ that I'm surprisingly into.” She put the vegetable in her mouth, chewed and swallowed before continuing. “But my favorite class is definitely _Photography and Philosophy_. The professor's really into it and I've always loved photography,”

“I just don't know what you're going to do with that degree, Carmilla.” Mother spoke with a sigh in her voice. Was it a sigh, or disappointment? She couldn't tell. “Have you spoken to your adviser about after graduation? It's soon.”

Carmilla shrugged a little and took another bite of her food, both chewing and losing her appetite slowly. “It's a whole year and a half away, Mother.” She pointed out, trying to keep her tone steady. “And I haven't talked to Professor Siegner about graduate school yet.”

Mother raised one of her own perfectly manicured eyebrows and asked, “Graduate school? Who's going to pay for that?”

“I don't know.” She moved couscous around on her plate watching it roll but didn't scoop it up. “I will, I guess. Student loans and all. Hopefully get some scholarship money from places.”

A hand to her right started to slap her excitedly on the forearm. It took all of her strength to not pull her hand away. “I can totally help you look for scholarships and stuff! I bet LaF can write some sort of program to search the internet and I can talk to my friends at other schools.” Laura was so excited at the idea of helping her out.

Mother seemed accept the answer, for how long Carmilla couldn't tell. “What about after graduate school, dear? What do you want to _do_ in life?”

Do, do, do, do, do.  
Surely that word had no meaning at this point.  
Why isn't the issue here who she was and what she liked? Who she was defined what she did.

“Didn't you say you wanted to teach?” Carmilla's head snapped towards Laura at her voice. “Be a professor, right?” Carmilla nodded slowly, almost as if she didn't believe the words.

Okay, yes. She did tell Laura that she wanted to teach at one point. But it was a passing comment. She didn't think the other girl was listening or even paying attention. It was during the lunch hour and it was so noisy that she could barely hear her own thoughts. The feeling in her stomach grew more noticeable.

It was just an act.  
It was just an act.

“Oh! Professor Karnstein! I love it!” Mattie's voice tore Carmilla out of her thoughts. “You'll be the one who has a thousand bookcases in their office and always brooding on the quad.” She gave a shrieking laugh.

“I don't brood.”

“Whatever, kitty.” Will looked over at her before flashing a proud grin. “I think Professor-dom suits you.”

Mother coughed ever so slightly, her frown starting to become more prominent on her face. “I think whatever she chooses will be perfect.” Laura leaned over and kissed her on her cheek. “Just like she is.” The weird twist in her stomach and redness in her cheeks came back with full force; she felt sick.

Will made a gagging sound, causing Mattie to slap him gently on his arm. “Stop it! They're adorable. This weekend will be so much _fun_! Tomorrow will be sister's day- I'm stealing you two if it's the last thing I do- and then Sunday you'll blow everyone away.”

At the statement Laura looked up, a confused look increasing the adorableness of her features. (No it didn't. It just made her look confused. Like a confused look was supposed to. Come on, Carmilla). “What's on Sunday?”

Carmilla gave and exhausted sigh, apathetic being the goal but unsure if she achieved it. “Picnic with the family at the park.” She said, turning towards Laura. “Remember? The whole reason I had to come back to this hell hole.”

“Carmilla.” Mother's voice was cold and stern, instantly sending chills up her spine. It softened instantly, the illusion of actually sympathy started and on its best behaviour. “Aren't you going to finish eating?” Carmilla looked down at her plate and then at the plates of the others at the table. They were all mostly empty while hers contained all but the two green beans she managed to swallow.

She gave a shrug. “I'm not that hungry tonight. Sorry.” It was true- her stomach just started to calm down and honestly, she really wasn't that hungry anymore. 

Laura must not have heard Mother's disapproving sigh as she reached forward and interlaced their fingers. So much for a calm stomach. “Come on, Carm. We have to unpack and get some rest- it was a long drive and Mattie obviously has a big day planned.” Laura smiled knowingly at her older sister who was sporting a grin that'd win modeling contracts. '

Looking at her full plate and not being able to think about eating the rest, she nodded. Laura stood up, gently pulling her away from the table which Carmilla hastily went along with, staring at her feet avoiding Mother's eye.


	11. Pre-Pillow Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it occurred to me that there is already a fic called Fake It 'Til You Make It (note the apostrophe) and it was published before I posted the first chapters here.
> 
> Sorry for those who thought this was that and were expecting that and got this brainspew.
> 
> Tempted to rename it.  
> Don't have any new names.  
> Taking suggestions?
> 
> PS: I teach college freshmen and I don't remember being that weird.
> 
> * * *
> 
> Trigger warning for eating here? I feel like _something_ should be mentioned. It's not like. Intense though.

As soon as the door to her room closed, Carmilla let out a long sigh of relief. She leaned against it and tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling and trying to clear her head; full of unwanted thoughts. A muffled _thud_ brought her attention back to the room in front of her and saw Laura picking up a mug off of the carpeted floor. The mug was one of those “paint-your-own' things that were so popular at birthdays when they were younger. The one that Laura held had a forest painted on it with a black panther lurking around the diameter. “Sorry.” Laura mumbled, holding it in her hands as if it might explode on contact.

“It's okay.” Carmilla said quietly, still not sure how to go about whatever just happened in that dining room. She crossed over to her bed and picked up her backpack, starting to rummage through the contents.

Laura's voice interrupted her thoughts. “Is your mom usually like that?”

“Like what?” She asked, finding the book she had been looking for- it had found a home at the bottom of a large stack of useless things she brought along for the weekend.

She ran her fingers over the worn cracks in the paperback spine as Laura continued. “She's just… “ Carmilla turned around and raised an eyebrow at the other girl as if daring her to complete the sentence. The girl ran her fingers over the giant black cat that was drawn stalking an unseen prey. “Intense.” The look on her face made it seem like the word choice was hard to make.

To be perfectly honest, she never thought of her mother as 'intense' per say. They were never close, there should be no ambiguity there, but she was always just Mother. Strict, disagreeable and a firm believer in tradition. Being the queer child in the family going through the 'apparently eternal rebellious stage', Carmilla never quite saw eye to eye with Mother. “She was fine tonight.” Carmilla shrugged, waving the book with an air of nonchalance. “Probably thought that she was putting on her best face for you. It's not that often I bring home someone.” She jumped back and bounced on the bed before lying back and bringing the book in front of her face. “Even if it's just a facade.”

“That was her best?” Laura asked, Carmilla looked over the book to see eyebrows drop from their position portraying confusion to getting scrunched up in indignation. “That's awful!”

Despite the adorable face Carmilla enjoyed looking at so much, Laura was angry. “That's life, cupcake.” Her eyes skimmed the words on the page, not really taking them in but instead thinking of what to say to bring the point home to Laura. “You can't choose your parents, much less their views. You just have to deal with it. It's the way of the world.” She raised her eyes over the top of the pages just long enough to explain everything to Laura before returning to the book.

Alright so maybe she wasn't as focused on the words in front of her as much as she was before. In fact, one eye remained firmly fixed on Laura.

The other girl sighed and shrugged, obviously struggling with Carmilla's truth. Surprisingly, it rendered her speechless. Carmilla raised an eyebrow as if to say 'Told ya' before finally ripping her eyes away to actually read the text in front of her.

Books were always the best therapy. They didn't argue, they didn't try to make you see 'reason', whatever that was. They simply existed to whisk you away from your troubles and problematic thoughts. Whoever said that a significant other was the best thing to ever happen to them clearly never picked up a good enough book.

“When was the last time you ate?”

Carmilla looked up in surprise at Laura, taken aback by the question posed. During the time she read a handful of paragraphs, the other girl had relocated to the desk that sat in the corner of the room. She sat on the chair accompanying the desk, but her feet barely touched the ground. “What?”

“Food. What was the last meal you ate?”

It took her a beat to think of an appropriate answer the other girl. “Well, since I've been hanging out with you- lately my eating schedule has been interrupted quite a bit. If you're suggesting we eat out...”

“Carm!” Laura's face reddened instantly as Carmilla wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. She smirked, knowing that she was useless to the features that could basically charm someone without any other helping them. “No.” Her voice was stern, though her cheeks were obviously still flushed. “Despite me being as straight as a circle, no.”

“And here I was, thinking you cared about my savings. Worried I was eating out too much.”

The disappointed and exasperated sigh wasn't foreign to her… however the fact that the conversation continued was. “Could you get your mind out of the gutter for 30 seconds?”

Okay the continued conversation and _eye rolling_ was new as well.

“What's up, cutie? Realizing that the apple doesn't fall that far from the tree?” She smirked, closing her book and leaning forward; her body needed to move.

Laura shook her head, her laughter growing the more she she was let alone with her thoughts. Finally, she explained what was so funny: “If there's anything I've learned about you over the last few days, it's that you're nothing like the person you try to convince us you are.”

An amused smile appeared on Carmilla's face, not matching Laura's of course, but enough. The girl could not be serious, could she? “Really, now?”

The mocking tone of voice did not discourage Laura. “NO matter how broody and disaffected you _pretend to be_ -”

“Excuse me? There's no pretence here. I happen to be genuinely broody and deeply disaffected.”

“No you're not. Or you wouldn't be so unhappy.“ Laura's voice was quiet and their eyes locked for a moment before she continued. “Deep down inside you actually care about the world and the people you consider friends.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow, questioning. “You wanted someone to help you fool your entire family instead of just telling them the truth. That's not nothing.”

The decision to con the entire family, while not nothing, was proving to be more trouble than it was worth, Carmilla thought bitterly.

“What do you want me to say, creampuff? I generally like living on this earth so I might as well try to not want to stake myself one afternoon while you're playing sock puppet theater, shouldn't I?” Wait. Did she just put them together in a fake scenario? Willingly? Her stomach turned.

It must have also growled as Laura's accusatory look soften into something apathetic. The girl got off the chair, knelt by her overnight bag and started digging through it. After a minute or so, she pulled out a pack of cookies. “I know these are your favorites, I got them to bring to get you to enjoy the weekend.” Laura sat down next to Carmilla on the bed and opened the pack. “Open up.”

If only looks could kill.

“I'm serious, Carm!” Oh man, those adorable puppy dog eyes could bring statues to their knees. She caved after a second or two of psudo-contemplation after which Laura happily placed a cookie in her mouth. She bit down and realized that Laura was right- they were her favorite. She reached up to prevent the rest of the cookie from falling down her front and onto the bed and ran her fingers over the edges. “See? Everything's better with cookies.”

“You're adorable.” Carmilla said, barely resisting rolling her eyes.

As if to prove a point, Laura sat up a little straighter and puffed out her chest, obviously proud. “Now that you're in a better mood-”

“I was never in a bad mood-”

“I think it's time we do something quintessential to any sleepover!” Laura stretched over Carmilla's body and grabbed Carmilla's backpack off the floor. After pulling out the laptop inside, she tossed it back onto the floor. The other girl opened the lid and typed in the password when prompted (how did she know Carmilla's password?) and opened an internet browser. “Netflix time!”

Carmilla laughed as Laura put the laptop on their legs between them. “It's not something special when we do this every time we hang out.”

“Shut up or I'm going to marathon the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer again.” Laura threatened, turning to face the dark haired girl. “I know how you hate how it's filmed. What did you say? Like it was filmed through a potato.”

To this, Carmilla merely shrugged, not willing to take back the statement. While the show did get marginally better in later seasons (she had a soft spot for both Faith and Tara in their own rights), there was something grimace-worthy of the first season and a half.

Eventually, Laura put on something called _Doctor Horrible's Sing-A-Long-Blog_ which wasn't that bad. She even felt a little bad at the end. During a lull in the show (Show? Movie? Musical? She couldn't categorize it), Laura ended up cuddling into her side and rubbed her feet against Carmilla's legs. “Your legs are so soft.” The smaller girl mumbled incoherently.

“Thank you. I shave.” Carmilla deadpanned, the smile she gave looking down at Laura giving away her underlying emotions. The song came to an end and the credits start to roll. “Come on, cutie. Mattie's sure to have something insane planned for tomorrow and you're obviously delirious. We should sleep.”

Laura pouted up at her. “I'm not tired.” Despite this, she closed the laptop and moved it to the floor. The two moved off the bed and towards separate ends of the room, slowly changing into their respective sleepwear. 

When Carmilla finished changing into boy shorts and a tank top she turned around to see Laura in flannel pants and a t-shirt. She really was cute sometimes. Laura moved to get into the bed so Carmilla turned and flicked the light switch, casting the room into shadows and darkness.

She climbed under the covers as the two of them laid almost uncomfortably close in the twin bed. Almost. There was something about it that made the closeness strangely familiar and welcome. Carmilla turned her back to the other girl and tried to get used to not being spread out across the entire mattress (and part of the bedside table).

Laura's whispered voice broke the enjoyable silence, “Good night, Carm.”

“Night, cupcake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone wants to beta this mess I call a fic, feel free to drop me an ask/message here or tumblr: sarthefirst.tumblr.com


	12. Stargazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to include this scene in the last chapter.
> 
> But I'm an idiot.
> 
> But an idiot who was stuck in the server room again today. So enjoy this short little drabble.

“Carmilla.” The feeling of a sharp pain poking her in the back dragged Carmilla back from the depths of unconsciousness. She slowly blinked a few times before realizing it was still dark. Rolling over to her other side, she was greeted by the wide eyes of one very awake Laura Hollis. “Carm.” The girl hissed. “Did I wake you?”

Looking towards a charging phone behind Laura’s back, Carmilla saw the time to be 2:14 am. What was with this girl and waking her at either absurdly early or inappropriate times? Carmilla sighed and shook her head. “No. I had a bad dream anyway.”

The lie flowed easily from her. There was no need to worry someone who was already struggling to fall asleep. Right?

“What’s the matter, buttercup?” She asked with a yawn in an attempt to chase the sleep from her voice.

Laura rolled onto her back. “I went to the bathroom and when I came back, I saw the stars.” The stars? Okay so maybe this was all a weird dream.

After a moment of confusion, Carmilla realized that they could indeed see stars within the walls of her bedroom.

Her ceiling was littered with glow in the dark stickers of stars. Probably thousands of them. Strategically placed to form constellations and her favorite points in the sky. Carmilla turned to lay on her back and looked up into the darkness. The stars were starting to glow for her now that her eyes were awake, fueled by Laura’s trip out into the hall. Small ones, large ones (although no larger than a few inches across) lit up her room in a soft green glow Carmilla associated with home. “Like what you see?”

There was a shuffling beside her as Laura nodded. “You like space?” She asked, eyes fixed onto the permanent planetarium above them.

“It’s comforting. Knowing you’re nothing to the light.” Carmilla spoke quietly as if not to wake the actual stars outside the window. “All the mistakes we make, all the lives we live. Nothing we could ever do would affect them and they’d keep on living in space. Constantly. Continuously.” She looked over to Laura. “They’re awesome in every meaning of the word.”

“What ones are your favorites?”

She smirked, despite knowing that the other girl wouldn’t see it. “That’s like asking you to pick your favorite ginger. It’s not possible.” Laura made a sort of begging noise to which Carmilla promptly looked over to put on a show of her rolling her eyes. “Fine.” She pointed to a space on the wall more or less across the room. “Leo's a favorite.” She said.

“Really?”

“Mhm.” She nudged Laura's shoulder. “You should go to sleep.”

“Show me some more stars?” Laura pleaded, a smile on her face.

Carmilla sighed and rolled her eyes despite her own smile forming on her lips.

“Of course.”

She listed off constellations, occasionally pointing to them on the walls of her bedroom until Laura's steady breathing told her that the girl was fast asleep.


	13. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since today was Giraffe Shirt Episode day and I'm still emotionally unstable, here's this mess.

A feeling of warmth and comfort surrounded her, she moved closer into the thing pressing into her front. Carmilla’s arm laid over whatever it was (she could tell it was soft) and a second passed before her hand moved to explore its surroundings. It moved over a small bump, the existence of which confused her, prompting her to press gently and try to determine what it was. This movement elicited a desire-filled moan from someone who was very much _not_ her. Pressure hit her front as whatever, whoever, it was tried to get closer to her.

Carmilla's eyes snapped opened to see the back of a head, covered in honey brown hair.

Stay calm.  
Stay calm.  
 _Damn it, Carmilla will your heart stop racing and **calm down**?_

It’s hard to stay calm when you realize that you just felt up the person pretending to be your girlfriend. And that she _liked it_. (Psh, why shouldn’t she like it?) ( _Not now, Carmilla!_ ) And did she like it? Well, she did enjoy the warmth pressed up against her front more than she cared to admit…

Now was not the time. She’d have to address those slightly distressing thoughts at some point when their legs weren't intertwined and her hand wasn't on the other girl's breast.

Deal with the situation at hand. First thing's first: de-tangle your bodies. You're spooning her and she's so close the only thing separating the two of you were the clothes you wore to bed. At some point during the night, you two must have just flailed around enough and tired out in this position. (Really? That's the panicked excuse that she's going to make herself believe? She had severely lowered her standards for excuses.)

Trying to keep her breathing relatively normal, Carmilla pulled back her arm. The moment their embrace was broken, Laura let out a small whimper, a whine, and sleepily reached over her shoulder to find Carmilla's hand again. After a failed attempt or two, the other girl gave up (or fell back asleep) and pulled the sheets over her more, replacing the warmth that Carmilla had once provided.

Phase one completed (legs notwithstanding)!

Slowly, Carmilla freed her remaining limbs from the tangle of sheets and body parts shared between her and Laura. With one last fleeting look to the girl, who was still dead to the world, she rolled out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. She tried the door only to find it locked, responding with a loud groan.

The door flung open to reveal Mattie with a toothbrush in hand, foam around her mouth making her look like a rabid dog. “Good morning to you too, sis.” Her voice was falsely cheery… or maybe genuinely cheery. It was too early for Carmilla to care enough to differentiate. She put her toothbrush back into her mouth and started to brush, causing her words to become muffled. “You ready for today?”

“It'd be a lot easier to answer that question if you'd tell me where we're going.” Carmilla muttered, watching Mattie turn to spit into the sink.

Her sister grabbed a hand towel and patted her face clean before turning back to her. “Don't you like surprises?”

“… no.” While it was too early for her to care about her sister's cheerfulness, it wasn't too early to deadpan her answers and shoot death glares.

With a rather dramatic sigh, her sister turned back to the sink and started to clean the toothbrush. “Fine. If you insist on being a pain in the ass about it. I was thinking we could go to the lake. Have a picnic, go swimming… it'll be fun.”

“Swimming?” Well that was no good for a handful of reasons. “Mattie, do you really think that Laura brought a bathing suit? And you know how much I hate large bodies of water...”

“Details, details! She can borrow one of my old ones or one of yours! You two seem close enough as far as body types go… do you really not share clothes with her back at school?” Mattie asked, nonchalant and ignoring Carmilla's general fear of lakes and oceans. When they were little, Mattie would mock her by comparing Carmilla to a cat but now that they were older, Carmilla was always hoping that her sister might take her complaints seriously.

Apparently not.

Carmilla let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine. I'll talk to her. Can you please just leave so I can piss in the toilet and not in the hall?” She asked, glaring at her sister's pleased grin.

“Always so crass, aren't you?” Mattie asked with a wistful sigh, exiting the bathroom and smiling at her younger sibling. “I'm glad you're feeling up to it. We'll leave around… say 10? It's a miracle you're up before noon so let's take advantage of-”

The rest of Mattie's sarcastic droning was cut off by Carmilla slamming the door to the bathroom in her face.

A few minutes later, Carmilla sulked into her bedroom to see Laura sitting on the bed, now fully awake, flicking through Carmilla's copy of _The Black Plague_ that she kept on her bedside table. Without even looking up, the girl spoke. “Honestly, how can you read stuff like this? It's so depressing!”

Carmilla shrugged and walked over to her set of drawers. “Such is life.”

“If you read some cheerier books, I'd bet you wouldn't be so broody all the time.” Laura commented idly, finally lifting her eyes off of the book and onto Carmilla's form. “Have you even _heard_ of Harry Potter?”

Oh hell no. “Mattie wants to take us to the lake.” Carmilla put an abrupt stop to the conversation. She pulled out a dark blue bathing suit and held it up, aligning it with Laura's body and closing one eye to get a better perspective. “Think this'll fit you?” She asked nodding towards the bikini in her hands.

At the mention of the day's plans, Laura's eyes lit up as if Christmas came early. “Oh! There's a lake nearby?” She asked excitedly. “Don't worry about the bathing suit. My dad always taught me to pack extra so I have extra underwear and a tank top. I'll just wear those with a pair of gym shorts.” She raised an eyebrow. “Do you own gym shorts?” Carmilla scoffed which prompted Laura to continue. “Plus, I wouldn't want to leave you without a bathing suit of your own!”

It was way too early for everyone to be this chipper, Carmilla thought. She envisioned the dresser of drawers bursting in flames just to spite the early hour. Tossing the bikini back into the drawer, Carmilla ran her hand through her head. “No need to worry about me, creampuff. I don't do water.”

Now it was Laura's turn to scoff. “Don't do swimming?” She mocked. “Are you on your period or something? Because I have tampons if you need some...” Laura bent over the edge of the bed to grab her backpack and started looking through a pocket.

Carmilla shook her head; this girl was ridiculous. “Nope. Just don't like open water.”

Laura looked up from her bag, stopping her quest to find the elusive tampon. “Why?”

“Well, I have to keep some of my secrets. Otherwise I'll lose my air of mystery, won't I?” There was no stopping the smirk taking over her face.

This explanation didn't seem to quell the other girl (at least, not by the look on her face), but she kept silent. At least she respected a person's secrets… that was nice. But the slightly hurt face was hard to stomach, despite the knowledge of her fear was solely her own. “Well, we have a an hour or so before we have to go. Do you want some breakfast.” Carmilla suggested. “I may not look it, but I make a mighty good chocolate chip pancake.”

At the mention of the pancakes, Laura managed a smile. “Really? You're a chef?”

Carmilla shrugged. “Chef is a bit of a stretch. But I can make my friend's favorites foods.”

“So we’re friends now?” Laura’s grin turned into a devilish smirk as Carmilla walked over to the bed.

“Don’t push it.” She muttered. “Do you want your pancakes or not?” Carmilla asked, offering her hand to the other girl.

With only a moment of fake hesitance, Laura reached out and took the offered hand with a smile. “Lead the way, Ramsay.”

Carmilla scoffed as they left the room, fingers intertwining with Laura’s subconsciously. “I could cook wonders around that man, don’t mock me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS I'm the acest ace to ever ace I'm sorry the beginning was such a mess.
> 
> Also you can track my shenanigans on tumblr- there were a lot of them this week which is why I'm mentioning it.  
> I tag all my writing stuff with 'Fake It Til You Make It' and 'Sar writes something for once'


	14. Perhaps the truth depends on a trip to the lake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title inspired from a quote by Wallace Stevens.
> 
> I'm so tired on a cellular level guys.  
> Don't teach undergrad, take grad classes and work full time all at once.  
> It's bad news bears.  
> Almost didn't get this out tonight.

The drive to the lake was almost enjoyable. Mattie insisted on having her and Laura sit in the back of the car like a pair of hormonal teenagers, unable to spend 30 seconds without each other. Between that and the constant questions that her sister was throwing at them to answer with red faces, Carmilla was about to tell her to pull over so she could vomit on the side of the highway.

Eventually though, they passed through the wooden archway with the hand carved sign welcoming them to White Cove Lake. When she was younger, she and Mattie would come here regularly, learning to swim and enjoying their time together. As Carmilla got older, she would ride her bike to the park and spend time here by herself, enjoying the silence that occasionally pierced the background sounds of gleefully screaming children. The sign opened up the floodgates of memories as Carmilla allowed herself to crack the smallest of smiles as they pulled into a parking spot.

She glanced over at the girl beside her and saw her grinning, clearly at Carmilla's own amusement. “Is that a smile I see?” Laura whispered, making sure that Mattie didn't overhear. Carmilla couldn't love Laura any more than she could at that particular moment for saving her that embarrassment.

“As much as you deny it cupcake, I am actually human.” Carmilla muttered as the car pulled into a parking space.

“If that's true, I'm going to expect those feelings to come out a bit more often now.” Laura smirked and exited the car so fast Carmilla wasn't able to tell her off or say a snarky comment.

The girl was learning.

With a heavy sigh Carmilla opened the door and slid out of the car. Laura and Mattie were getting things out of the trunk, laughing at something one of them said. Carmilla felt the tingling in her stomach again, watching the two.

It was probably nerves.  
Because if Mattie didn't buy it, their cover would be blown for tomorrow.  
Totally nerves.

“Carm!” Laura called her name, motioning for her to help carry the bags of supplies Laura convinced them to bring. With the smile creeping back onto her face at the sound of the nickname, Carmilla walked over and held out her arms as Laura shoved something large and purple into her.

Her knees almost buckled under the weight. “Hell, cupcake. What’d you put in here? A year’s supply of bricks?” She asked, quickly regaining her composure.

Laura rolled her eyes. “No!” She scoffed, extracting a blanket from beneath what looked to be a cinderblock sitting on the trunk’s carpeted bottom. “If there’s one thing my dad’s taught me, it’s how to pack for any occasion.”

With a raised eyebrow, Carmilla adjusted the bag to hold it in one arm and unzipped the zipper with her other hand. “What occasion at a lake would require a pair of winter gloves?” She asked skeptically.

“In case it gets too cold in front of the water. Obviously.” Laura’s voice was obnoxiously optimistic and cheery for someone completely losing her mind.

She turned to Mattie. “Did you encourage this?”

Her sister shrugged, reaching up and slamming the trunk closed. “It always helps to be prepared.” Carmilla resisted the urge to roll her eyes so far back into her head she’d be able to see behind her. “Plus, you never pack anything other than a book when we go places. What good is a book in an unexpected situation?”

“Amusement until the situation goes away.” Carmilla muttered.

Mattie ignored her and turned to Laura. “Thank the heavens you found her. Otherwise I’m sure she’d underprepare for _something_ horribly important. She’d find herself at a party unable to mingle or at class without a notebook. Something silly.”

“Opposites attract, you know?” Laura said in that sickeningly sweet voice of hers.

It was like honey and pop rocks and all sorts of delicious to her ears.

Carmilla gave out a relatively exaggerated sigh and started walking towards the lake to which she heard a round of laughter from the girls she left behind. She was glad that someone was having a good time.

A few minutes later Carmilla found herself sitting on a ratty-looking zebra print blanket as Laura lay sprawled out beside her. Mattie stood in front of them (thankfully) blocking the view of the lake. She wondered briefly how long they’d have to stay here while she pretended that the large blue circle in front of her was a giant tarp getting caught in the wind. Mattie reached up and pulled off her shirt revealing the bathing suit she wore underneath. “Wish to take a dip, sis?” She asked, knowing full well the answer.

Putting on her best _I hate you_ face that, on any other day, she might have been particularly proud of, Carmilla muttered a quick “no thanks”. Mattie looked over to Laura expectedly who, in turn, glanced back towards Carmilla.

Was she being asked for permission? Either way she shrugged, not caring what the ball of excitement did to amuse herself today. This seemed to be the wrong thing to do as Laura moved closer against her side and touched her arm gently.

The touch was electric and softer than the clouds.

“Are you sure?” Laura asked cautiously. “I don’t want you to get bored over here alone.” The puppy dog eyes and jutted-out bottom lip were at full force when Carmilla glanced down at the other girl.

Mattie scoffed and answered for her. “Please. She’s probably hiding at least 3 boring philosophy or history books on her. She won’t be bored.” Okay, so maybe Carmilla would have phrased it a little differently (not that she’d deny the fact she had a copy of _Critique of Pure Reason_ in its original German in her back pocket). “Come on dear. You don't need Carmilla to get a little wet...”

“Mattie!” Carmilla snapped while her sister wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at a deeply blushing Laura. “Just go.” She shooed them away as Mattie grabbed Laura's wrist and pulled her towards the water.

As they grew farther away, Carmilla rolled her eyes and pulled out the book shoved into the pocket. It was well read; yellowing on the page edges and a multitude of cracks running the length of the spine. She opened the text and took in the scent of the worn pages. It was one of her favorite scents, although she's been smelling a lavender scent more and more that makes her knees weak despite its unknown origin.

A section of text or so later Carmilla glanced up at the sound of her name being shouted in the afternoon sun. After scanning the water's surface she found the source of the cry: Laura. Mattie was floating on her back leisurely in the sun as Laura stood up and drew herself to her full height.

She was wearing a dark red spaghetti strap tank and a pair of Carmilla's black mesh gym shorts. In the last few minutes she had clearly been dunked or gone under water as her hair was slightly darker than normal and water ran down the already soaked shirt. Laura moved and started walking towards their little area of the shore. 

Every article of Laura's clothes hung to her every curve, held by gravity and dripping water. It was suddenly very hard to swallow as Laura came and sat down on the blanket beside her. “You're really not going to say why you don't like getting wet?” Carmilla looked down at her.

That water droplet moving down Laura's neck was entirely too distracting. 

Carmilla looked back at towards the words on the page, barely taking them in. “I never said that. I said I don't like large bodies of water. Difference.” 

“Traumatic childhood event?” Laura asked, leaning her head against Carmilla's shoulder. The cold water did nothing to cool the sudden heat that the sun brought to their blanket. On the other hand, the lavender scent was back; Carmilla's eyes closed in contentment as the breeze brought the aroma back to her..

“Not quite, sweetheart.” She said quietly- there was no need to shout. 

Laura sighed dramatically. “Are you ever going to tell me?”

A laugh escaped her despite best effort. “Not a chance, Lois Lane.” She said, opening her eyes to look back down at the eager brown orbs below her. “Earning that journalism degree though, aren't you?”

“Shut up!” Laura playfully hit her shoulder and then bolted upright. “Come on. I'm going to help you get over your probably irrational fear.” She said confidently, holding out her hand to help Carmilla up.

She was only met with a raised eyebrow. “That's why it's called an _irrational_ fear, honey. People stay away for no good reason.” Laura reached down and pulled Carmilla to her feet with only slight resistance. “Plus, I'm not dressed for the occasion.” It was only a partial lie- she didn't want to get her shirt wet but her shorts stopped mid-thigh and her favorite flip flops were discarded by only a tiny nudge from Laura's own foot.

“You'll be with me. It'll be okay.” Laura tightened her grip on Carmilla's hand gently (or was it a mutual action?). “Promise.”

It only took a half-glance into Laura's before Carmilla found herself nodding and being led closer to the water. Laura's presence was comforting given the situation, there was truth in that… but it didn't stop her heart from beginning to race and the blood that started pounding in her ears.

Oh no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos help get me motivated to write while having this insane schedule. Thank you so much for leaving them :)


	15. Dive Right In

In.  
Out.  
In.  
Out.  
Breathing was so much harder when air wouldn't go into your lungs.

The firmer Laura's grip on her hand became the heavier her feet became. While she remembered slipping off her flip flops, she would argue that either her combat boots or cinderblocks adorned her feet. Was Laura talking? She couldn't be sure. All she knew was that the waterline was coming closer and that was very much _not okay_.

Carmilla closed her eyes as they drew closer to the water's edge before the cool water of the lake hit her feet.

It probably wasn't too cold; it was probably even a bit along the lines of refreshing. Despite this knowledge being repeated in her head, Carmilla tensed up, immediately taking an involuntary step back onto the dry sand. Her eyes were open now, a state of panic set in them, flicking back and forth over the vastness of the water in front of her.

“Carm?” Laura's voice was distant, as if coming through a tunnel.

Focus.  
It's just the lake. You've been here before.  
Focus.

It didn't stop her heart beat from picking up.  
She knew what was in the lake- some fish, some seaweed. Nothing else.  
And so much water.

She let out a shaky breath and looked over at Laura, running a hand through her hair more out of habit than anything. “Sorry… I really don't-”

“Shh.” Laura's voice was calm as she walked over to stand in front of Carmilla. “It's okay.” Carmilla glanced down as Laura took both of her hands and held them firmly. “I didn't realize. Do you want to go back to the blanket?”

Did she want to go to the blanket? Back to her book and safety and only dry sand? There wasn't a force in this world that could express how much she wanted that. Carmilla shook her head, much to her own amazement. “No… I can do this.”

Laura tilted her head slightly and stared into her eyes; it was like the walls Carmilla normally had up were transparent before the other girl. “Going back doesn't make you weak.” Her voice was soft, barely heard over the joyful screams of the children nearby. “I won't judge you. Mattie won't care.”

Well, that second bit was probably a lie, but that was an issue for another day.  
Another lifetime, perhaps.

“Thanks for the sentiment, cupcake.” The disaffected walls were coming up again, stronger than before. She could do this and just suffer through it. She's been through worse. With one more shaky breath, Carmilla pushed past Laura, leaving only one hand intertwined with the other girl's.

This was just like a bath at home.  
 _Just with more water._  
A giant pool party.  
 _Not that those were any better._  
You could probably touch the bottom if you tried.  
 _Only with feet of water already above you._  
You were here as a kid all the time.  
 _You lost your favorite toy sword… want to gamble your life?_  
Tons of kids have been in this lake before.  
 _People drown all the time without others noticing._  
Mattie's watching.  
 _Like she's ever cared._  
Laura's here.  
 _Laura's pretending._

She's pretending.  
Laura's pretending.  
She's playing the girlfriend to calm the other down.  
She's pretending.

Her heart was beating at a million mile per hour as Laura followed wordlessly until Carmilla's nerves overcame the will of her feet and they stopped, water stopping at their waists. She dropped their intertwined hands, preparing to clench her hands to dig her nails into her palms and give her brain something else to think about, but Laura immediately picked them back up barely letting them hit the water.

“Good?” Laura asked, swinging their hands slightly so their knuckles skimmed the lake's surface. Not trusting her mouth, Carmilla gave a curt nod and fixed her eyes dead ahead into Laura’s. 

Just because she was in the water didn’t mean she had to look at it. She began her routine to convince her brain that her senses were deceiving her and she was really on land.

It wasn’t the most successful of practices.

They locked eyes and after a peaceful moment, Laura looked down at their hands. “Will you tell me one day?” She asked shyly. “Why this… is a thing?” 

Redness blossomed and overtook the girl’s cheeks prompting Carmilla’s lips to curve upwards. The feeling soon went away when her brain processed what Laura was asking of her. The familiar clench of her stomach that so often occurred in Laura’s presence came back in full force. Carmilla let go of their hands, crossing her arms her chest as if it suddenly dropped twenty degrees. “I dunno, cupcake.”

“Are you sure?” Laura almost looked offended that their hands weren’t connected. Did her fingers just twitch in Carmilla’s direction? “I can help you get over it.”

Carmilla raised an eyebrow. “One does not simply get over a traumatizing event and subsequent fear.” The other girl seemed to look at her ever so differently after she spoke. Maybe the words ‘traumatizing event’ were a poor choice.

Laura reached up to push a strand of hair behind her ear, clearly not comfortable with the way the conversation was headed. “I didn’t mean that.” She said quickly before backpedaling at an impressive speed. “I mean, all fears are justified, no one should be ashamed that they’re afraid of something. But fears can be overcome, right? Or managed or something. I used to have a fear of snakes when I was little then I volunteered at a vet’s office and they shoved a balled python into my arms and so I’m over it! I mean, not really, because sometimes snakes are actually scary, but I can manage a lot better. Honestly, the second harry potter movie coming out at that time totally did _not_ help the snake fear.” She was so cute when she rambled. “But we can get you more comfortable in water that’s not the ocean or something. We could go swimming and visit the lake a lot more often and do really cool things, I know there’s a water park nearby-”

“I know. Maybe. Just.” It was the gentlest way Carmilla ever stopped a Laura rambling train and the train stopped in its tracks. “I’m okay for right now. Like this.” With you. It took all of her self control not to say those two words.

“Like this?” Laura questioned, a grin working its way back onto her face when Carmilla nodded. “I can work with this.”

“Hey lovebirds!” Mattie's voice broke through their unspoken exchange of gratitude. “Are you guys going to come out here with me?”

Much to Carmilla's relief, Laura turned and waved her sister off. “It's okay. We're going to stay here for a bit. Get used to water's temperature, you know.”

“Alright losers. Be that way. I'll enjoy the sun all by my lonesome.” Carmilla didn't bother to look over her shoulder but she could hear the smirk on Mattie's face. 

When Laura looked back at her, she gave a grateful smile. “Does that mean we have to stay here?” She asked sarcastically, already knowing the answer. 

“Of course, silly! At least for another few minutes, okay? Then we can go back to the towel.” Laura bargained. “What kind of lake trip would it be without getting into the water for a little bit?”

“A good one?”

“Carm!” Despite the chastising tone, there was a smile on Laura's face. The water must be getting to her as her knees felt just a little weak.

“Hey! Heads up!” A boy's voice shattered the happy silence around them. Carmilla turned to glare at the offending human (perhaps a look of death that only she could give), how dare he ruin their moment? Were they having a moment?

Her thoughts were promptly interrupted as a volleyball soared through the air and hit her on her shoulder. Carmilla's balance, already on edge from being in the water, was completely disrupted as it knocked her back, plunging her beneath the lake's surface. 

Instinct took over. Carmilla closed her eyes and opened her mouth to scream out but only felt the sensation of freezing water filling her lungs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My fics: Once more proving that i shouldn't brainstorm at night and write it out because my vocabulary does not do my imagination justice.
> 
> Also I had to give an exam this week, so it's probably a bit less awesome than I hoped it'd be because I had to write that instead of this.


	16. Breathe in, breathe out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to The Hush Sound for making a surprise appearance in today's chapter.

Her eyes snapped open, although it didn't help her see or take control of the situation much. Dark brown particles swam before her burning eyes; few of the sun's rays managed to break through the floating sandstorm to shed actual light to her surroundings. Muffled shouts reached her ears… but they were soon drowned out by the beating of her hear which kept pace to a mantra echoing through her head.  
  
_You're gonna die._  
 _You're gonna die._  
 _You're gonna die._  
  
The mantra was quick and relentless. It reminded her briefly of that stupid Doctor Who thing Laura kept talking about- can you hear the drums?

She could and they had heart-wrenching lyrics accompanying them.

After what seemed like hours, she felt something, someone, grab her elbows and pull her to her feet. Instantly, her hands reached out and grabbed onto the forearms of her rescuer.

Laura?

Her heart rate didn't slow down, but the mantra in her head did as her head broke through the water's surface.  
  
_It's just an act._  
 _It's just an act._  
 _You are not loved._  
 _You are not loved._  
 _She doesn't care._  
 _She doesn't care._

This mantra made her close her eyes tight, feeling her stomach churn with dirty water.  
This mantra hurt more.

“Breathe, Carm.” The voice was distant, but it had hint of desperation in it. “Come on!” A gentle pat on her back knocked her senses into action causing her to cough, spitting out the lake water in her stomach. She briefly opened her eyes to see the water dripping from her mouth and hitting the area above where her feet would be. The murky water hid her view of her extremities, cutting her legs off at the shins.

She swallowed hard, keeping her eyes fixed on the point where her feet would be. A sudden coughing fit took over her body once more, forcing her to put her hands on her knees to keep staying upright. By the time the coughing subsided, her entire body shook visibly, her legs creating ripples so close they were almost one continuous wave.

A small tug on her arm tried to move her, but her feet stayed firmly in the submerged sand; she couldn't move them if she tried. Two more gentle tugs commanded her legs to move against her will, following her leader through the water.

For all she knew, staring blankly at her feet, her mind millions of miles away and hundreds of feet below water, whoever held her arm in their hands could lead her back to the middle of the lake and dunk her head in.

The same small force that compelled her to move pushed on her again, this time letting her body fall to the ground and letting a small grunt escape her mouth. The minute she was still, her mind returned to her underwater prison where only brown was visible and air was absent.

“Hey, come back to me.” The words echoed in her mind as if they were heard underwater.  
  
_Hey, come back to me._  
 _Hey, come back to me._  
  
“Baby, come back to me.” These words, though softer in tone, resonated a lot louder.

She blinked.

Once, to yank herself from her mental hell.  
Twice to realize she was sitting on the ugly zebra print blanket.  
Three times to focus on the honey-brown haired girl staring worriedly into her eyes.

“She'll be fine, dear.” Mattie's voice was the next thing Carmilla could bring herself to focus on. “She does this all the time. Whenever we go to the lake, the beach, sometimes taking a bath… just leave her alone and she'll return to normal in a bit.”

The girl in front of her whipped her head around (hitting Carmilla with that aforementioned honey-brown hair in the process). “You don't leave someone alone during a panick attack!” She sounded so offended at the mere thought. “Leaving her alone is the worst thing you could do.”

“Well… maybe not the worst thing...” Mattie drawled.

Laura turned her head back to Carmilla with an exhausted sigh as she blinked for the fourth time. This small action brought a grin to Laura's lips followed by the soft touch of their foreheads pressing against each other. Carmilla leaned into the gentle pressure greedily. “You're really not a fan of water, are you?” Laura asked softly with a grin. She lifted her hand up and brushed a wet strand of hair behind Carimlla's ear. “You look like someone tried to give a cat a bath.”

Maybe it was the shoddy apology. Maybe it was the worried smile on Laura's face. Whatever it was, it caused a thin smile to appear on Carmilla's lips.

“I think you'd be the cat though.” Laura laughed as Carmilla closed her eyes and grinned into the pressure of Laura's lingering hand on her cheek and pressure on her forehead. “Are you okay?” A whispered voice barely made it to her ears.

Carmilla nodded and frowned slightly as the gentle pressure of Laura's presence disappeared. Her eyes opened to see her digging through one of the many packed bags Carmilla lugged down to their blanket. After searching for a moment, Laura produced a grey beach towel before walking back towards her and draping it over Carmilla's shoulders.

With the most adorable grunt Carmilla's ever heard, Laura plopped down on the blanket, their shoulders touching only for a second before Laura leaned her head on Carmilla's shoulder. She felt like she should wrap her arm around the other girl, to hold her close and thank her for existing in the same time period that she existed in, but sitting there in silence, listening to the laughing children in the sun seemed to be enough.

A slightly annoyed sigh broke the silence. “I'm going to grab food. Do you want anything? A hot dog?” Carmilla turned her head to see Mattie on her feet holding her wallet, thumb pointing to a concession stand that stood a few yards away. She felt Laura's hand reach forward and sit on her knee.

It worked better than any shock blanket they could find.

“No, I think we're alright.” Laura said, her voice as chipper as when she always talked to Mattie. “Plus, I have some cookies in my bag, anticipating a snack time. Thanks though!” Carmilla watched as her sister walked off, a feeling of uncertainty still in her stomach… or maybe there was some lake water still lying around?

The feeling was soon replaced by yearning as Laura lifted her head off her shoulder and her hand traveled up her leg, then stomach and chest before stopping at her shoulder. “Cupcake?” The nickname came out of her voice dry as if she hadn't spoken in weeks, her throat burning in the small effort.

Laura pushed slightly on Carmilla's shoulder, insisting for her to lean back as Laura scooted forward slightly so that her head rested in Laura's lap. “You've had a bad afternoon. This isn't how it was supposed to go.” Not wanting her vocal cords to protest anymore, Carmilla simply shrugged. “Close your eyes. You need to relax a little.” Her stomach churned slightly, but Carmilla obeyed, closing her eyes and letting her other senses stand at attention. Every sound was amplified, every grain of sand could be felt between her toes, the smell of cooking hot dogs and burgers becoming the most delectable aroma she's ever come across.

But even those were muted as she felt Laura's fingertips graze her skin. Her thumbs ghosted her ears before landing gently on her temples and beginning a circular motion. Carmilla let out a relaxed moan as she felt herself melt under Laura's touch. Her thumbs continued their pace, fingers either momentarily stayed their distance or briefly touched her chin.

They stayed that way for a few minutes, Carmilla becoming putty in Laura's hands. Once or twice, a pair of fingers would brush over the edges of her lip, leaving Carmilla to force herself to keep steady or catch herself chasing after the fingers.

It was the perfect mix of tantalizing and tranquility.

When Mattie came back some time later, she stopped at the zebra blanket and grinned. The two girls were fast asleep- Laura had put a blanket under Carmilla's head that they shared as a pillow and was wrapped around her sister. Carmilla's hand lay on top of the hand of Laura's that lay on her stomach, as if they fell asleep holding hands and grips relaxed in their unconscious state.

With a smile, Mattie drew her phone out of her wallet, raised it up and (after a few taps) snapped a picture.

A few seconds later, Carmilla’s phone went off with a notification to deaf ears. It was Facebook. Mattie had tagged her in a picture with the caption “My sis's new girlfriend is utterly adorable #RelationshipGoals”.


	17. Morning Rituals

The sun peeked through the curtains of Carmilla's bedroom, bringing in the rays of the new day into the confined space and covering the two bodies joined on the bed. Some birds started chirping at the bright light, acknowledging its presence and welcoming the new day. A mix of honey-blonde and dark hair were splayed across the yellow pillow in the middle of the bed.

It was a perfect morning.

“Fucking hell… if those goddamn birds don't shut up I swear I will go outside with a shotgun and-”

“Carm. Be quiet.” Laura's voice came out more of as a groan from her head’s position of buried in the other girl’s shoulder. “It's early and I think I have a sugar-induced hangover.”

The only answer given to Laura was a rather annoyed groan and a shifting of the bodies so Carmilla’s head was turned more against the light. “I knew taking you to the diner with a hot chocolate bar was a bad idea…”

A giggle was shortly followed by a wince and the sound of the bedsprings creaking. “No it was a great idea. We both needed to unwind a little.”

Carmilla shifted herself to prop her body on her arm to look at the other girl. ”Honestly, my idea of unwinding doesn’t include making sure you’re not bouncing off the walls again due to a sugar rush.”

Laura peeked a single brown eye out from under the pillow to shoot a glare, which instantly softened, at Carmilla. “Like you didn’t enjoy it.”

“While you have the capability to be pretty amusing, no, that was not one of those moments.” Carmilla’s smile betrayed her utterly sarcastic comment to show that perhaps there wasn’t only malice in her voice.

Instantly, Laura ducked back under the pillow with a shameful squeak. A moment passed before her eye reappeared, slightly squished up because of a sure-fire grin hidden beneath the covers. Carmilla grinned knowingly as Laura pulled the covers down and sat up slightly, starting to wake herself up. “What's the plan for today?”

Carmilla gave a disinterested shrug. “Hide in the corner of the park under a tree reading a book?” She suggested. “It's what I normally do at any sort of family gathering.”

Despite the fatigue residue in her, Laura raised an eyebrow. “While I'm sure you'd like to do that...”, she brought her arms above her head and twisted her back, sighing with satisfaction at the audible crack, “… your mom and sister might have some objections.” Carmilla rolled her eyes; her sister and mother's opinions were obviously well at the bottom of her list of priorities. With a satisfied grin on her face, Laura threw off the covers of the bed. “I'm going to jump into a quick shower. Make myself human. I'll be back in a few minutes.” She leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on Carmilla's cheek before jumping out of the bed and leaving the room.

A minute or so later, Carmilla heard the water of the shower turn on and the change in sound that told her that Laura got in safely. 

With a (probably over-dramatic) sigh, Carmilla flopped down onto her bed and stared up at the ceiling, straining her eyes to see the outlines of the stars on her walls in the daylight. She lay like that for a few minutes, breathing deeply and listening to the sounds that Laura made in the other room.

Honestly… she could get used to this. While an annoying pain in the ass… Laura wasn't bad. 

Overall.  
Objectively speaking.  
If she wasn't on a sugar high.  
Maybe.

The peaceful silence was interrupted by the sound the bedroom door creaking as it opened. Carmilla barely moved, glancing over to see her mother sticking her head into the room. Her mother wrinkled her nose, as if the room smelled funny before turning her body more completely to the room's sole occupant.

“Carmilla, dear, have you thought about what time you'd be ready to leave?”

A perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose at her mother's question. “Not particularly, no.” She glanced down at her sleep shirt and then back at Mother. The thought of leaving her bed hadn't even crossed her mind at this point in the morning. “Laura's in the shower.”

This seemed to please the woman, who nodded. “Good. Glad to see that one of you have a sense of cleanliness.” She gave an exasperated sigh. “Anyway. We have to be at the park at 11:30 for the picnic and I do not expect to be late... _again_.” She said the last word pointedly, as if this was a frequent trait of Carmilla's.

Whether it was or not, it didn't mean that Mother had to be all 'accusatory' about it…

“Don't worry.” Carmilla put on a falsetto voice and a forced grin pushed the edges of her lips up. “I can't wait to get to the reunion. I love my family!” 

If one looked very closely, they could see the bits of Carmilla's soul shattering to pieces on the floor.

Her mother's eyes narrowed at the heavy use of sarcasm this early in the morning. “I expect you both downstairs and ready to go at 11. You can help pack the car. Matska wants to bring… things.” Her hand left the door frame to wave whimsically. “And goodness knows that William has his own plans for the day. You need to make sure he's behaving himself when we're at the park- he is not to embarrass this family.”

Ah, yes. The role of pack mule and brother-surveyor; she was used to wearing those. “Yes Mother.” 

“And you keep an eye on your… girlfriend.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow both at the pause her mother preceded the last word with and the tone chosen to speak it. “While I'm sure she was on her best behavior for dinner the other night, I am not to be shamed in front of the entire family tree because someone I invited can't conduct themselves in a proper manner in public.”

Carmilla blinked, hearing the water from the shower turn off. Laura's soft hums floated through the walls separating them as she finished going about in the bathroom. “Yes Mother.”

“Good.” Mother's face lit up with a smile. “I'll see you in a bit!” With a wave of her fingers, her mother slipped away into the hallway and out of sight.

Less than a minute later, Laura walked into the room dressed in jeans and a t-shirt clinging to her body. She rubbed a towel over her damp hair, trying to prevent the water from running down and getting onto her new shirt. “Hey, look! Human.” She said, a smile way too large for her face plastered upon it.

The toothy grin caused the edges of Carmilla's lips to turn up. “Clean cutie. Imagine that.” She said softly.

Still smiling, Laura threw the towel at Carmilla and jumped to sit herself on the bed. “Yes. Very hard to believe. But you smell like sleep. Which, while it doesn't matter to me, might annoy your mom. And I wouldn't want to get on her bad side.”

Carmilla's smile slowly melted into an expression of mild disgust. “Every side of Mother is her bad side.”

“That can't be true.” Of course Laura the Optimist would say that. “Everyone has a good side.”

“Mother having a good side?” Reaching forward to take the damp towel, Carmilla pondered the thought. “Imagine that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait!  
> I blame the skipped week on my girlfriend because:  
> 1) It's a new thing and she's very distracting  
> 2) I fell off a rock (trying to impress her) and sprained my ankle and tore a ligament.
> 
> So a lot of time was me being selfish and then trying to heal myself.
> 
> Short filler chapter is short.  
> Many apologies.


	18. Let's Take A Walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm about to pass out from exhaustion and I wrote this yesterday on some napkin because I felt bad that I didn't have anything yet but I thought you lot deserved something especially with season 0 starting today and there's a wedding shower this weekend and school (teaching and taking classes) has been kicking my butt so I don't know when I can write anything on a normal schedule but I'll try to keep posting something (drabbles or chapters) on Thursdays and like I took off work today to take a nap then went back to work and then went to school to do more and I thought I could finish this chapter but I had a robotics assignment due that I needed to finish because we finally got an explanation for it today during class and it was due at midnight and I needed to get that done and I wake up in like, 5 hours and...  
> Ugh.  
> Anyway.  
> Hi guys.  
> Here's a short little intermediate blurp before all hell breaks loose.

“It’s too bright out.”

“No it’s not! Put on your sunglasses instead of just wearing them on your head!”

“-and way too hot.”

“You’re wearing all back. You could have prevented this.”

“… and loose the badass look you love so much? No way.”

“You’re a total softie! I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Good!”

“Will you two please be quiet?” Mother’s voice reached back towards the two girls as they walked a few feet behind the family monarch and the two favored children. “I already forbade William from bringing his friend Carmilla, I am not afraid of doing the same to you.”

Laura looked over and raised a curious eyebrow. “Mother, Laura can hear you.” Carmilla said pointedly, rolling her eyes at her mother’s back.

Luckily, the act was over when her mother turned around; stopping in her tracks. “I know.” With a serious look, Mother turned back around and continued walking down the sidewalk.

The entire exchange took less than 3 seconds.

Carmilla let out a heavy sigh as Laura reached out and grabbed her hand, gripping it in an attempt of comfort. “Bitch.”

“Carm!” Laura gasped, sending a glare in Carmilla’s direction. Despite her tone and action, she wasn’t exactly prompting the other girl to change her words.

“She has no right to treat you as if you’re invisible. Or a pet.” Carmilla retorted as they passed under the gateway of the park’s entrance.

Laura moved her head left and right, as if pondering the words. “True.” She said, dragging the word out, ready to contradict herself. “But you should still treat her with respect. She’s still your mom after all…”

Their pace was momentarily broken as Carmilla stopped to raise an eyebrow at the other girl. “Are you kidding me, cupcake?”

She shrugged in response, pulling on Carmilla’s hand to get them walking once more. “I think it’s important to respect your elders.” She replied bashfully, the edges of her cheeks starting to flush. “Plus. You have a mom- that’s something.”

“You can’t pull that card, cutie.” Carmilla laughed. “My father didn’t even stick around after I was born and my mother literally left me on a doorstop in the rain.” She raised her hand and pointed towards Mother. “That woman may have adopted me and I may call her Mother but she’s no mom.”

“She still cares for you, though.”

“Really now?” The sarcasm almost drowned out the rest of the words.

“Enough to raise you and give you a roof and warm place to sleep.” Laura countered, earning another eye-roll from Carmilla.

They walked a few more feet in silence before Carmilla let out a long sigh. “How do you always manage to find the good in people?”

Straightening herself up proudly, Laura smiled. “It’s a gift.”

The shouts of happy children caught their attention as Carmilla tightened her grip on Laura's hand, her breath getting caught in her throat. “You ready, cutie?” Laura turned to her and smiled.

In that moment, she was brighter than the sun.

“It'll be fine. Let's go.” Laura stopped briefly to lean over and place a small kiss on Carmilla's cheek. Carmilla's eyes closed at the feeling of Laura's lips on her skin and her legs nearly tripped when Laura's tug on her arm yanked her back to reality. 

With a shaky sigh, Carmilla nodded. “Let’s do this.”


	19. Let's Get The Party Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a Thursday.  
> But I had this completed on a Thursday.  
> Maybe.  
> It's a lie.  
> I'm a mess.
> 
> Until term lets up and I stop running around like my head is chopped off, updates are going to happen more sporadically.
> 
> Many apologies.

The instant the four entered the imaginary boundaries of the party, Will and Mattie broke away to join their preferred social circles. Carmilla glanced at Mother; she was already deeply engrossed in a conversation with Uncle SomethingOrAnother. Sure. Family was important… but did they have to do these massive get-togethers? She rather just say ‘hi’ to them every once in a blue moon via gChat.

“Come on, grumpypants.” Laura said, taking her hand and tugging on her arm. “Let’s find someone to talk to.”

Before she could help it, a snort escaped her. “Cupcake- no one here is worth talking to. Trust me.” She said bitterly.

Carmilla could see the smaller girl roll her eyes. “That can’t be true. Come on! There are people our age over here...”

“Laura I don't think that's a good idea...” She dragged them over to a table where a few people Carmilla vaguely remembered from childhood stood. Despite the three Karnstein siblings being adopted, the kids at the table seemed to look strikingly like Will. It made the hair on the back of Carmilla’s neck stand on end. She didn’t remember _that_ about them.

Ever the chipper firecracker, Laura bounced on her heels and waved at her cousins. “Hey guys! I’m Laura.” Two of them glanced over at Laura, not even trying to hide the fact that they were rolling their eyes.

“You win.” Another one said, digging into their pocket and handing their neighbor a five dollar bill.

Laura frowned. “You guys were placing bets? On what? Isn't underage gambling illegal?”

The boy who handed over the money smirked and nodded to Carmilla. “She's the gay cousin. Thanks for showing up to prove a point, sweet cheeks.” Carmilla felt her cheeks flush a deep shade of red. “Don't worry though. I still have some change on Will being a eunuch… accidental or otherwise.” He gave a small smirk as the others either chuckled or laughed outright.

“You were betting on who was the gay cousin?” Laura gasped.

The one girl in the small circle shrugged. “I was hoping it was Uncle Woodsman but you know… on the other hand, there can be one per generation. I still have a chance.”

“Uncle Woodsman?”

Carmilla leaned over to whisper into Laura's ear. “He lives alone in forest somewhere on the edge-of-nowhere Styria. Always wears various forms of plaid, brags about how much wood he's chopped within the last few hours… sometimes talks about slaying vampires.” Focusing on talking about the odd uncle helped manage the now-pink hue over her face.

“That's beside the point, Carm!”

The boy who started this whole debacle let out an audible snort, his hand barely making it over his mouth out of reflex but not actually muffling the sound. “Carm?” He asked after moving his hand, glancing between her and Laura. “Badass Carmilla is _whipped_.”

Carmilla grit her teeth, trying as hard as she could to stay quiet. “Shut it, Vordenburg.” She muttered.

“Or what?” Carmilla couldn't explain the feeling that overwhelmed her at that moment. To put it simply, she wanted to punch him in the face.

So she did.

When she pulled back her hand, clenching and unclenching her fingers to ease the slight pain, Vordenburg was keeled over, hands over his nose. Despite everything, she couldn't help but feel her lips curve upwards. “You gonna be quiet now?” She asked, eyes trained on the distressed figure in front of her.

Vordenburg took his hands away from his face revealing a thin stream of blood making its way down over his lip. “You bitch!” The words were more of a snarl than anything else.

“Carmilla!” Mother's call shook her to the core. Hair stood upright on the back of her neck and all other sounds seemed to dim away. She turned around to see her mother marching over to their small circle. “Barren, are you okay?” Very unlike herself, Mother walked right in front of Vordenburg and started inspecting his face; it was almost like she cared about his health. Once her observation was complete, Mother turned around and glared at Carmilla. “Come.”

With a firm grip on her bicep, Mother grabbed Carmilla and dragged her off to the side under a tree. Carmilla was able to shoot Laura a semi-sympathetic look before being shoved forward and forced to look up her mother. “What do you think you're doing?” It was a rhetorical question, she knew, and didn't bother supplying her standard sarcastic answer. “How dare you embarrass me! And the family name!”

“He was insulting me.” Carmilla said, attempting to be as stoic as possible. “You've always said to never let someone insult you and get away with it.”

It was a flimsy excuse, barely able to stand up and defend itself, and both women knew it. “Not around family. Not around the Vordenburgs. Do you know how long our families fought in the past?” Not even a full beat passed. “They fought for centuries. And for all we know, you've gone and ruined it!” The open handed slap across her cheek was muffled by the shouts of children nearby. “I swear, Carmilla, if you've gotten them all riled up because you can't hold your tongue, I'll make sure you have no tongue to manage in the future.” 

Without another word, but with an hateful look cast in Carmilla's direction, Mother walked back over to the group. By now other adults were starting to gather as well and Vordenburg was sitting on a bench of a picnic table, holding an ice pack to his face.

“You shouldn't have done that.” Laura's voice broke the tidal wave of thoughts drowning Carmilla's conscious. The smaller girl was suddenly at her side. Laura's hand had slipped into her own and, after a moment, gave a grip of support.

Carmilla sighed, bringing her other hand to rub her cheek. At least the sting was starting to go away. “Yeah. Thanks for that killer piece of advice, cupcake. Couldn't have figured that out, myself.”

The standard park soundtrack played in the background as Laura took a moment to think. “Has anyone ever told you that you have anger issues?”

Joking or not, Carmilla rolled her eyes and stared at the other girl, a look of disbelief on her face. It only took Laura a second to break her serious persona and erupt into a fit of laughter.

“Barren is hurt?” A voice shouted, confused. “How did that happen?” Carmilla looked up to see an old man with a cane start to hobble over to their area of the park. People were trying to explain the situation to the older man; Carmilla couldn't overhear them and they weren't exactly screaming to put the two girls in earshot. “A Karnstien?” The old man was shouting again, waving his cane wildly. “This is why we don't talk to those no good vampire witches! They're the devil's spawn!”

Vordenburg stood up, head tilted back and ice pack still resting on his face. “Grandfather! No!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again about the wait :(


	20. This Wasn't According To Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Super Sorry about the wait.  
> But now my sister's married. And the semester's over. And I'm slightly less sleep deprived than normal.
> 
> So... yeah.  
> Sorry.
> 
> Thank you guys for being so patient and here's to another chapter of the cluster of the Carmilla/Laura Fake Dating AU no one wanted! [drinks]  
> [is over 21]

Was the world crashing around her right now? Maybe. It was hard to tell, with Barren holding an ice pack to his face, his grandfather yelling obscenities and Mother digging her nails into Carmilla’s shoulder. She had no idea when her mother appeared back at her side- perhaps it was when the grandpa's cane started swinging around as if it had a mind of its own.

“Grandfather, just sit down, please.” Vordenburg spoke in a congested voice as he tried to speak and prevent blood from going down his throat. “I've got this covered.”

Manic laughter escaped the old man, Carmilla almost thought it to be relatively creepy. “You don't know how to handle these psychopathic devil-incarnates!” Now he was shaking his arm at the two Karnstien women. Carmilla glanced off to the side to see Will shying away behind Mattie while Mattie herself was staring intensely at her phone.

Cowards.

“My grandfather warned me about the Karnstiens the minute they came into this town!” To be fair, Carmilla was slightly impressed that the man remembered something that happened more than three minutes ago. “My daughter thought it would be a good idea to fraternize with them and then we ended on the streets! Life savings gone and my daughter in a coffin!”

Vordenburg sniffed back phlegm enough to try to deter the man. “Aunt was in a car crash, grandfather. It had nothing to do with them.”

Laughter caused both body and cane of the old man to shake. “There were puncture wounds on her neck-”

“- the headrest came off the backseat and nearly took off her head!”

“That's what they want you to think, m'boy. Vampires plant evidence on their victims all the time!”

“Calm your crazy pants, gramps. Let the competent generation take care of this.” Carmilla muttered.

A force pressed on Carmilla's shoulder as she was pushed backwards by her mother who strode towards the elder gentleman. “Carmilla!” A shrill voice accompanied the painful pressure. “Nevermind my ignorant daughter.” Mother spoke in her sickeningly sweet voice that Carmilla knew was faker than Aunt Donna's breasts. “Come with me, I'll get you a drink and we can talk about this.” With a pointed glare back towards Carmilla, Mother took the man's arm in her own and led him away.

How was that fair? The old man started it! It was between her and Vordenburg.and then he thought it’d be the best idea to start going on and on about things that didn’t even-

“What the hell, Carm?” Laura's voice ripped her out of the train of thoughtlessness her mind wandered onto. Around them, the crowd started to disperse leaving them, Vordenburg and a few other cousins that were close in age milling around.

Despite everything telling her not to, Carmilla scoffed at Laura’s astonishment. “Are you really on his side, cutie?” She asked, rolling her eyes in Vordenburg’s direction. “I’d think you of all people wouldn’t be angry about the situation...”

Laura was fuming; crossing her arms as she glared daggers in Carmilla’s direction before responding. “What do you mean ‘you of all people’? I don’t support violence, Carmilla. No matter what the circumstances.”

“Because you’re as gay as a pride parade and wear more rainbows on a daily basis than-”

“Just because I’m proud of my sexuality doesn’t mean that I flaunt it around and punish others for making snarky comments!” Was her cheeks getting red? The flushed look was adorable on her. “You have to be the bigger person sometimes, Carmilla.”

Before she knew it, her eyes were rolling around at Laura’s words once more. “Bigger person? Since when have I demonstrated _that_ lovely attribute?”

“The gay couple’s having their first fight-”

The two girls turned and glared. “Shut _up_ Vordenburg!” They snapped in unison before turning back to each other as if the outburst never occurred.

“I’m not saying it’s something you have to do often, it’s just something you have to do occasionally to make sure you don’t get into a freaking _fist fight_ at a family reunion!” Laura exclaimed, running her hand through her hair. She was getting frustrated- Laura always ran her hand through her hair when she was frustrated. Maybe Carmilla should back off. “I can't with you, Carmilla! Do you even have a shred of tact in you for social interaction?”

She shrugged, “You were the one who wanted to come along for the ride, sweetheart. It's not my fault you didn't listen to the Jolly Ginger Giant...”

“I should have.” Laura grumbled, her arms once again going across her chest and building the invisible barrier between them. “LaFontaine said you were rough around the edges but you know what? I believed you actually had redeeming qualities. I guess I was wrong.”

The look on Laura's face broke the black void Carmilla called her heart. How many of her words were fury from their argument and how many were her true feelings? Did Laura really think there was nothing good about her? “I guess so.” The words were out of her mouth before her brain realized they were going to be said. They were spoken so emptily, the only thing Carmilla cared about at that moment was the person standing before her.

Laura swallowed, then took a deep breath. She was collecting herself. At least one of them was going to be in control of their bodies.

“You can find yourself a new fake girlfriend, Carmilla.” Despite knowing the words were coming, inevitably, it didn't stop them from feeling like a freight train hitting her at full speed. “We're done.” Without another word, Laura turned on her heel and walked away.

“Fake girlfriend?” Mattie's voice rang out through the silence as if fate _knew_ that Carmilla shouldn't get out of this easy. Carmilla rolled her eyes, turning to see both her sister and her brother approaching the group. She didn't care much to keep the muttering at a low, inaudible level at this point. 

“Oh goddamnit.”


	21. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays! I'm not guaranteeing that Thursday updates are making a return but I did have 2 hours to kill at a car dealership and I figured since it was the holiday, I'd bring you some cheer. Sure, my holiday's over (I'm Jewish) but I can get into the Christmas spirit... right?
> 
> PS: To everyone who was incredibly shocked at last chapter's events... Did after ~a month of unplanned hiatus I was going to let you off easy?

“Carmilla, mind your language. There are children around.” Mattie tilted her head towards the admittedly small children playing with a ball under a tree a few yards away. “Now. What did Laura say about _fake_ girlfriend?” Of course she couldn’t let it lie.

WIll’s stupidly arrogant smirk only grew as the events unfolded. Carmilla was starting to feel the punch-a-person sensation take over her once more. If only she hadn’t cashed in her punch-a-person card so recently. It was only really socially acceptable to punch someone once a week… but her brother was so much more deserving. “I know you couldn’t have actually managed to land a girl.” So, _so_ much more deserving.

Her eyes narrowed at her brother before turning back to her sister. “It’s nothing. Couples fight all the time.” Why did those words, coming out of her own mouth, feel just as bad as the ones that Laura spoke?

“I suppose that’s true...” A breath of relief escaped her at Mattie’s words. Maybe this nightmare will finally be over soon- “if said couple were _actually dating_.”

Of course not.

“Did you lie to Maman?” Mattie’s voice was stern, as if it was the highest of sins.

Hell, it probably was to her.

“Did you lie to me? To Will?” Okay, now that look on her face was mighty pathetic. She genuinely looked hurt. Her stomach felt like it was up in her throat.

In the span of about 15 minutes, Carmilla the entire list of people she felt weirdly protective of… which used to be a single person until just a few days ago. There was something about the tiny Hollis that made Carmilla want to protect her.

Damn, she was getting soft. Next thing you know, she’ll be treating Will with ample love and respect.

“I didn’t mean it that way.” Carmilla tried her best not to sound so pathetic but talking to Mattie had that effect on her. Carmilla always end up feeling like she was five and got caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. “Mother was going on about how she was expecting me to marry a man to give her a million grandchildren and how I was supposed to take care of her when she got old and-”

Her sister scoffed, cutting her off with a quick roll of the eyes. “Do you really not think that Maman says the same guilt-filled propaganda to us?” Mattie put on a falsetto voice that sounded eerily similar to Mother when she’s trying to convince someone she has a soul. “William’s so self centered he’ll be working his way to the top without a thought for anyone else and Mircalla will be on some soapbox spouting some philosophy. They won’t be able to support me in my old age- they’ll barely be able to support themselves.”

“Matiska and Mircalla only think of themselves.” Now it was Will’s turn to impersonate their mother. “Selfish girls with selfish needs. You are the only one that I trust to keep the Karnstein name going.”

Carmilla stared at her siblings in stunned silence. Although, to be fair, there was a bit of her that wasn’t the least bit surprised. It was their mother they were talking about, after all.

Before she could open her mouth to respond, Mattie cut both of them off with a quick wave of her hand. “And you don’t see us going off and immediate fake relationships or make up accomplishments for us to have supposedly won, do you?”

With an aggravated sigh, Carmilla ran a hand through her hair. “Well what do you expect me to do, Mattie?” She asked exasperatedly. “Tell Mother the truth?”

Mattie threw back her head and laughed. A loud genuine one that meant that she wasn’t being mocked for once. “Are you completely crazy, kitty cat? Of course not!” Carmilla would be lying if she said she didn’t just get hit with a wave of relief. “But. She’ll be very confused about where your _girlfriend_ wound up.” Her eyes flicked towards the path where Carmilla last saw Laura last walk off.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “What do you want me to do Mattie?” The pointed look on her sister's face spoke more words than she could have ever said verbally. Her eyes grew wide with realization. “Oh hell no! I'm not going after her.”

“Do you have much of a choice, kitty?” Will crossed his arms and smirked at her.

Hell she wished she could punch him right now.

She looked over at Mattie in disbelief, earning a scoff and a shake of her sister's head. “You got yourself in this mess, it's time to get yourself out.” Mattie spoke as if it were the simplist thing in the world.

“Running after someone who just dumped you? That's cheesy.” Carmilla's eyebrow rose skeptically.

“And you, sugar puss, are the Cheese Queen. Didn't you take a girl to a ballet and on a private boat ride for a first date?”

Carmilla sighed, closing her eyes in mild frustration. How did Will know about that? “I'm not sure about you, William, but I have standards. Running after a girl like this is the biggest cliché in the book!”

“Well so is panicking and claiming you had a girlfriend to your family.” Mattie said pointedly. “It sounds like something you'd read on forums on the creepy side of the internet1. But it's your mess dear.”

“What's a mess?” Mother's voice interrupted their discussion and sent chills up Carmilla's spine. This could not get any worse, could it? “Did my wonderful children make a mess of things? _Again_?”

She turned slightly and saw their mother walking towards them, thankfully without Vordenburg's grandfather. Mattie let out a large burst of laughter Carmilla pegged instantly as fake. “Of course not Maman.” It had been years and Carmilla still wasn't sure if their mother cared that their enthusiasm was often fake. 

“How is Laura?” Mother asked quietly, looking around. “I don't see her. She's probably asking where you are, Carmilla.” Mother's falsetto came back with a vengence. “ _Where's Carmilla? Has anyone seen Carmilla?_ ”

Carmilla bit her bottom lip and tried to control her inner rage before racking her brain for something to say. “She felt sick.” It came out bland, just like the lie that it was.

Genuine concern seemed to wash over Mother's face. “Oh no! I hope you didn't just let her walk off. Did you?” Silence. “Of course you did. Silly girl- no wonder it took you so long to find a partner.” A flicker of clarity passed over Mother's face. “I should have known you'd want to be the man in a relationship, after all I watched you grow up. Now go on. It's bad manners to let your girlfriend be sick on her own.”

A mixture of emotions passed through her, unable to figure out which one was the most prevalent, although confusion and offense were pretty high on the list. Apparently she stood in silence for too long as her mother spoke once more. “Shoo, shoo. I shall wait for your return, my diamond!”

Without another thought, her feet turned her around and walked away from the park. She wasn't sure if she was looking for Laura or a place to stay for a bit, all she knew was that her feet were in control and it was up to them to determine where she went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 In which the author wonders at what point do characters become self aware?


	22. A Heart to Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how many chapters are left, but I do know I have an ending planned now. Instead of just writing without a goal. So that's nice.
> 
> Sorry for the wait!  
> I think I'm bad with deadlines >_

It took a while, but after little time wandering, Carmilla found herself standing in front of her own doorstep. Sitting on the worn brick steps of her childhood home sat a very dejected looking Laura Hollis. She stopped a few feet in front of the sulking girl, remaining silent.

Until Laura looked up, that is.

Instantly a scowl overtook her features, normally bright eyes darkening with a glare. “What do you want?” Laura's words were harsh- each one was a dagger sent in Carmilla's direction and each struck her worse than the last. Despite the short time that they've known each other, Carmilla knew that this was uncommon (at the very least) for the pint-sized human.

Speechless Carmilla shrugged. She couldn't exactly apologize, especially since there was nothing to apologize _for_ , but then there was no real way to explain the situation. How do you say that you were peer pressured into ensuring that your fake girlfriend wasn't fake puking her fake guts out?

Silence was the safe option.

“Well could you at least let me into your house so I can get my stuff?” She asked venomously. It was like continual kicks to her groin… coming from a pro football player.

Maybe one day she'll understand why Laura's voice had such a devastating effect on her. Why she bent so easily to the girl's will.

Until then, she'll have to deal with reaching into her pocket and pulling out her house key. Quietly, Carmilla walked past the other girl and unlocked the deadbolt, hesitating after turning the doorknob with the key inside. Before opening the door, she spun around and looked at the honey blonde staring at her with a raised eyebrow. “Why are you pissed at me?”

Laura scoffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Are you serious?”

Rolling her eyes, Carmilla shrugged. “I haven't done anything other than being myself the last few hours yet now you're willing to not only throw me under the bus but make sure that it runs me over a handful of times more.” She said. “So yeah. I'm serious.”

A beat passed between them before an exhausted “Just let me in the house.” broke the momentary silence.

Carmilla pushed open the door, standing aside as the smaller girl stormed in. Following, Carmilla entered the house and kicked the door gently shut. “You're acting childish.”

“Oh?” Laura turned around on the staircase leading up to the second story and looked down (probably for the first time ever in any argument the girl had). “You're the one who begged their roommate to hook them up with someone to pretend to be their girlfriend.”

“Why do you keep holding that above my head?” Carmilla started up the stairs, following Laura's retreating form. “You're just as guilty about it as I am. Just tell me what I can do to make whatever I did better.”

“You can't!”

“Why not?”

“Because I know you by now. You can't. It's not in your personality.”

By this time they were standing inside of Carmilla's room, vehemently staring the other down. “Humor me then; what's got your panties in a bunch?” Carmilla swallowed the nickname _cupcake_ that sat on her tongue. There was a time a place and now sure as hell wasn't either of them.

Laura sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “We've spent nearly a week together attached at the hip. I've seen you in front of friends, family and when it's just us and I swear it's three different people.”

“Doesn't everyone have a facade?” Carmilla interjected.

“Shut up, I'm talking!” Laura's words were quick and her tone was sharp. Carmilla didn't think that she had ever seen the other girl snap at anyone before. While happy Laura was _able_ to have a temper and snap, it saddened her more than she wanted to admit that it was Carmilla that Laura snapped at. “I can understand who you are around your friends… and maybe I can understand your family. But the girl I was pretending to date? She was the best Carmilla out of the three. Why don't you give a shit about anything when there are people around? If you acted the same way that you act around me, you wouldn't have this situation in the first place.”

The more the girl talked, the lower Carmilla's jaw dropped towards the floor. “Seriously?” Honestly this girl was going to be the death of her. Didn't they go over this already? That being said, maybe she did bring on the reiteration… she steeled herself, ready for another shouting match to ensue.

It almost threw her off that it didn't happen.

Laura's voice was quiet now, as if the energy from her outburst was the last in her emotional reservoir. “Just be the Carmilla that hung out with me this last week.” She asked, almost begging.

“That's not me. And you know it.”

“Maybe it's actually you and everything else is fake.” Carmilla raised an eyebrow skeptically. “I've heard your laugh. It was genuine.”

“Because I watched someone fall on their face?”

“It was more real than anything I've heard come out of your mouth this weekend.”

The silence between them wasn't tense, nor was it too awkward, but Carmilla wanted nothing more than for it to end. Laura's slow forming frown made her more uncomfortable than she'd like to admit.

Laura sighed softly and crossed over to Carmilla's desk, picking up a pen and a scrap of paper. She scribbled something down and handed it out to Carmilla. “And apology note to your mother. I wasn't feeling well and needed to go back to school. But a thank you for her hospitality.” 

Mindlessly, Carmilla reached forward and took the note before her arm dropped to her side, feeling heavier than usual. “Do you need a ride?” Carmilla asked, her hand subconsciously moving to the car key in her pocket.

“I texted Danny before you came. She's picking me up… hopefully without an _I told you so_ lecture.” Laura looked down and knelt down by her overnight bag, contents spilling out of it. It only took a minute of her quietly scooping her belongings back into it before she was standing with the bag slung over her shoulder.

Laura stood there, looking towards her as if there was supposed to be a big dramatic moment or some heartfelt speech Carmilla was supposed to go on to convince her to stay.

Another small sigh told Carmilla that the other girl was disappointed when the silence remained. Laura walked past Carmilla before stopping at the room's entrance, hand resting slightly on the door frame. “The other two Carmillas wouldn't have offered me a ride back to campus.” Laura's voice was full of pain and almost regret, if her eyes had anything to say about it.

Carmilla heard retreating footsteps and the front door closing, but nothing else.


	23. Let's Get The Party Started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to have this up last week.  
> Whoops.  
> Sidenote:  
> I've started calling my girlfriend "creampuff", "cutie" and "sundance"  
> I'm so hung.

“I’m glad you’re done with her.” Danny broke the silence that filled the car after Laura had climbed in outside of Carmilla’s house. “She was horrible to you… and you weren’t even actually dating!” She knew that her friends words were supposed to be comforting. Every bad teen romance film told her that it was the best friend’s job to verbally destroy a person’s ex. But it had all been pretend anyway so the words weren’t even needed.

So why did it hurt so much?  
Like Danny forced her down into the car seat and locked her in with the seat belt before plunging an exacto-knife into her chest and twisted it before tearing out her heart.  
Like Danny cut a hole in her.

Despite everything that happened, Laura felt the uncontrollable need to defend Carmilla. “She wasn’t so bad.”

They shifted lanes on the highway before passing underneath the exit sign saying _Silas University_. Danny scoffed. “Really, Laura?”

She remained silent.

Danny sighed, her tone only hinting at defeat. “Fine.” At least she knew when to stop fighting Laura.”But the Summers are hosting a party tonight. LaF said they’re going to be dragging Perry down. I think you should come. It’ll be good for you; there has to be a fun part of this weekend.” Laura glanced over at her friend. They knew each other well enough to know that both of them knew that Danny was biting back an insult.

Probably at Carmilla’s expense.

Laura bit her lip worriedly. “I don't know… I have a lot of homework to catch up on.” She spoke hesitantly; her hands fiddling with the edge of her sleeve. That was a good enough excuse to get her out of socialization and instead allowing her to marathon hours of Doctor Who in her dorm… right?

“You can't spend all your time in your dorm, Laura.” Danny chided playfully. “I bet there will be lots of girls there...” A smirk in Laura's direction told her that more or less the taller girl was joking. “Fine. I promise you a dance or two.”

Rolling her eyes, Laura laughed. They had tried dating initially but after a few months they ended things. It was seemingly mutual, but every now and again Laura could swear she saw a flush of regret and desire in her friends' eyes. “Fine!” She threw up her heads in mock exasperation.

“Yeah!” Danny's cheers were as ecstatic as her smile was wide. It was kind of made Laura reminisce about having someone smiling like that to her. Even if a few times Carmilla seemed to fulfill that wish…

She wanted a smile that she could guarantee wasn't fake.

* * *

The pounding beat of the bass drum shook her right to the core, stomach bouncing against her ribs. She moved her body with the sound, keeping pace with the lights and sounds being emitted from the speakers. A body was grinding against her and Laura couldn't bring herself to care and determine who it belonged to. Danny and her Summer Society friends gave her more than a few drinks under the excuse of “You just need to loosen up” and “It's time for you to land a real woman!” So now she was here to lose herself and forget the last horrible last few days.

“Laura!” A wild LaFontaine appeared before her; hair wild and eyes lighting up at the sight of their friend. “I've been looking for you!”

She kept smiling, not bothering to try to shout over the music. Hell, Laura even nodded to convey the message se was listening.

“How'd the weekend go with Carmilla?”

If LaFontaine heard the tired sigh that came out with the mention of their roommate, they were kind enough not to say anything. Although, with the music playing Laura doubt the redhead heard. “I deserve better then her!” Laura stated confidently.

The way LaFontaine's eyebrow was raised to their hairline made Laura think of their roommate and the pang in her chest struck again. “Better than her?” They questioned skeptically.

She nodded definitively, as if there was nothing wrong with the conversation they were currently having. “I may like her, but she treated me like shit. I don't deserve to be treated like shit in a relationship.”

“Laura…” LaFontaine grabbed the girl's hand and pulled both of them off what would be considered the dance floor. They gently pushed Laura into an empty love seat before crouching down to look at her in the eyes. “Laura. You were never in an actual relationship with Carmilla.” Their voice was steady, strong and concerned.

Despite that, Laura scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Clearly! She was so inconsiderate. She barely wanted to do anything with me and nearly freaked out when we went swimming!”

“That's because she has an intense fear of water.” LaFontaine sighed heavily, closing their eyes in frustration.

“I know! But it would have been nice to know beforehand!” Laura exclaimed, only a little not-so-subtle hint of bitterness in her voice.

“You're drunk.”

“You're a scientist.”

A beat followed by an exhausted sigh. “That's a lame comeback, Frosh. I'm ashamed to know you.”

“Evolution isn't real!”

“Ignoring the fact you're being a complete prat right now...” LaFontaine was clearly annoyed and actually bordering on angry at this point, “You need to go home and sleep whatever this is off.” It was weird, seeing LaFontaine angry. They were usually only angry when it came to protecting Perry and honestly that was more driven concern than anything else.

Feeling a bit defeated, Laura nodded begrudgingly and let LaFontaine drag her off the couch and towards the door Summer's house with only a small wave in Danny's direction before crossing out into the night.

The walk back to Laura's dorm was a bit of a blur, although she did explicitly remember LaFontaine asking her repeatedly where the key to the room was, since it wasn't in her purse. There was also a call to Betty, her roommate, only to find out that she was spending the weekend with her boyfriend out of town, which resulted in a stream of curses from LaFontaine. Exasperated, the scientist grabbed her arm and led Laura to their own dorm.

As they walked into the room Laura had spent so much time in over the last week and a half, she felt a twinge of regret in the pit of her stomach. Or maybe that was the alcohol.

Definitely the alcohol.

LaFontaine led her to their bed and motioned to it. “You sleep here tonight, Drunk McGee.”

“What about you?” Laura frowned, already missing her friend.

Their eyes glazed over slightly as they smiled, obviously thinking about a capital-S Something. “I'll be crashing with Perry tonight.” 

Ah.  
That explained it.  
Perry. 

LaFontaine loved Perry more than Laura loved cookies. Laura grumbled, but with a small smile on her face. “Fine, fine...” she teased. They smiled at her and waved before practically running out of the room to see the local floor don. A goofy grin on her face as well, Laura flopped into LaFontaine's bed.

She was asleep before she even hit the pillow.

* * *

A loud crash woke Laura up; a glance towards LaFontaine's alarm clock showed that only an hour had passed. Her head kept spinning and her stomach churned- clearly whatever sleep she had wasn't helping. Laura groaned and propped herself up on her elbow.

The lights turned on.

“You've got to be kidding me!” A voice shouted, utterly shattering the silence that had existed. “Do you _like_ following me around and attaching yourself to me like a gorramn fungus?” 

It was Carmilla.  
Even if it wasn't her room as well, who else would greet another human being with that?

Laura glared at the other girl, eyes now adjusting to the sudden light. “LaFontaine told me to sleep here tonight.” Carmilla scoffed, driving Laura to continue. “And it's not like I like to see your nasty face all the time either.”

“Hot damn, creampuff.” Carmilla looked impressed, opening her duffle that she had dragged in and dumped on the dorm floor. It must have been the sound that woke Laura up. “You have a bite.”

The shorter girl stood up, only slightly struggling to maintain her balance. “I spent the night talking to Danny and-” 

“Oh really? What did the giant Amazon tell you?”

“That you are a grade A jerk who doesn't deserve even a fake girlfriend much less a real one!” Laura said, the anger from the night and the last remains of alcohol making a reappearance. 

Carmilla placed a book from within the duffle onto the bookshelf on her headboard, scoffing softly. “Of course the ginger giant said that.” Did Carmilla know Danny before they met the other week? Laura didn't know… nor did she particularly dwell on the fact at the moment. “Who says I want a real girlfriend anyway? My family clearly thinks I'm a fuck up… Mother does anyway. I'm sure my siblings just assume incompetency and patheticness.”

“Because you basically scream for it.” The honey blonde spoke nonchalantly, as if this was the most obvious fact to ever exist. “Danny also told me I deserve so much better than you.”

“Do you now?” Carmilla's smile was turning slowly into a smirk.

Jerk. 

Nodding, Laura went on, starting to pace in a very not-straight line (the line was probably as straight as her). “Yes. You're lazy, apathetic, unmotivated-”

“You're any better?” The brunette threw her duffle to the side, clearly done with the conversation. “You're neurotic, self-centered, hyperactive-”

“Don't you dare turn this against me!”

“How could I not? It's just so _easy_. That scrunched up face you make when you're angry is _hilarious_ buttercup.”

Laura spun around on her heel, facing Carmilla. “Because all I've been trying to do since day one is help you! And you're acting as if it's all worthless and I'm the scum of the earth!”

“I've been to some nasty places, cutie. You're pretty much up there-”

“Shut up!” Laura took a step forward, only a foot or so away from Carmilla.

Smirking, Carmilla grinned. “Make me.”

Could Laura actually punch Carmilla in the face? She couldn't decide. But all she knew was that the two fell into Carmilla's bed, attached at the lips as a hand reached up and flicked off the lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I start school again on the 26th so my 12+ hour work days make a reappearance (although it's only 2 days out of the week instead of 4). I'm also trying to move as well this semester (assuming the housing market doesn't decide to be a jerkface) so sorry in advance for the inevitable delay future chapters will have with posting.


	24. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a computer at work again!  
> Even if school started again.
> 
> Sigh.
> 
> Sorry for the wait.

“Carmilla?”

A voice reached out to her curiously through the dark.

Unable to wake up, or even open her eyes enough to voice a coherent thought, she turned over in her bed, burying herself more into the covers. “No.” She grunted, voice muffled by pillows and sheets.

“Carmilla!”

This time the voice was louder, and she recognized it as her roommate's. She grumbled slightly and propped herself up on her elbow to open her eyes and look over at LaFontaine. She lifted her eyebrow expectedly at them; waiting for them to explain they woke her up from her very important sleep. “Where's Laura?”

Wait a minute... “What?”

“Laura. Laura Hollis.” LaFontaine ran their hand through their hair and collapsed upon their desk chair. “She spent the night here. I dropped her off after the party and went to Perry's.” They said, exhausted. “But she's not here and no one's heard from her. She's completely off the grid.”

This made Carmilla sit up straight, pushing her hair out of her face. “Really?”

LaFontaine sighed and took another look around the room, perhaps looking for a sign of where one of their best friend ended up. “Yeah… Danny's setting up a search with some of the Summers and Zeta Omega Mus. Perry and I are going to start working on posters.”

Whatever LaFontaine did from that point on didn't really matter to her; they could have lit the dorm on fire using a microscope and she'd still be lost deep in her thoughts.

Last night was a blur; she had spent most of the night getting reprimanded by Mother before going to the basement, pulling out a cold one from the mini-fridge the children have dubbed the “beer fridge” and drinking one or two while playing a rather intense game of Call of Duty. Around midnight, she had decided that staying in her Mother's home, alone, was completely overrated so she went back to the dorms. She had almost left the house before Mattie came running from her room, dressed her silk pajamas complaining about the large bag of laundry sitting in the bathroom. (To be fair, Mattie was almost never around to go into the bathroom to complain about said laundry but since she's in town, it was inevitable).

She had come back to campus and stopped by a friend's' apartment a few blocks away before coming to the annoyingly small room she called her home. Despite the phone buzzing in her pocket which probably signaled her mother's’ presence, the only thing in the world that was calling to her was her bed.

When she opened the door, she felt the familiar vibration of her phone indicating that there was a voicemail being recorded. Flipping on the lights, she had let out a groan as she saw a familiar figure lying in the bed opposite of hers… and it wasn’t LaFontaine.

And then things got out of control.

She took advantage of the little creampuff; toying with her and only listening to the annoying voice in the back of her head who wanted to vent her home-life frustrations. She was fine using people- hell she did it almost every weekend…but it was different with Laura. Not to mention waking up alone. It would be a lie to say her stomach felt completely normal at the thought of last night.

Mentally shaking herself, Carmilla realized that LaFontaine was long gone and she sat in the dorm room alone. Unsure of what to do, she ran her fingers though her hair with a sigh. Even if it wasn’t a murder case, she was the last one to see Laura and that was important; she had to go out and look for her… if only to calm her conscious. 

She hated that thing.

It took a little bit but she got up, got dressed and even grabbed a granola bar to eat on the road. Wrapping her jacket closer to her, Carmilla pushed open the door of the residence hall and stepped out into the cooler air. She thought briefly about where Laura would go after being used for sex and then walking off, but nothing really stood out in her mind.

Maybe it was a good thing. Maybe she shouldn’t be the one to find the cupcake first.

After a few minutes of walking, her feet led her to the edge of campus, right at the forest line on the west side of campus. This fact was only slightly comprehended as her feet led her further into the woods. There were a handful of landmarks that stood out, having resided on campus for more than twenty minutes.

Dead man’s swing; the tire swing where a student previously climbed the 20ft tree to adjust the rope and fell to their death.  
The fire pit; perched at the top of a small hill, perfect for stargazing.  
The no-source brook; the small stream that ran through campus with no observable source and never became stagnant.  
Lophi; the rock shaped like an angler fish.

Eventually her feet led her to a small plateau overlooking what looked to be an old quarry that closed down before it got to dig too deep. Sitting on a nearby fallen tree log was a figure with long honey brown hair. 

“Laura.”

Her voice must have startled the other girl, causing her to jump ever so slightly while turning around to stare at Carmilla, clearly shocked that she was discovered. Laura’s face melted between emotions; happy, disappointed, angry and maybe just a tinge of regret. Without a word, Laura turned back to overlook the should-be-quarry, ending any potential conversation.

It wasn’t in Carmilla’s nature to push someone who stayed silent- ironically that was more Laura’s personality- but something inside her nudged her forward. “Your friends are looking for you.”

Neither girl moved as the silence stretched between them.

Carmilla briefly wondered if jumping into the rock-pit would be less painful than the growing silence. 

“LaFontaine nearly destroyed our room, looking for you.” No, no, this was definitely worse. “I know you’re small and all, but I don’t think you’d be able to hide under a few notebooks on a desk.” Talking was not making this any better; Carmilla longed for the silence but somehow kept talking for no apparent reason. “I’m fairly certain we were two seconds away from having the Amazon in there as well.”

Carmilla wasn’t one to believe in religions or heaven or hell- she barely believed in right or wrong- but she certainly believed at that instant she discovered non-violent torture.

“You’re an ass.” Laura’s greeting was anything but pleasant, but there was a fair bit of truth in it so Carmilla let it go. 

Another few minutes of silence passed between them before Carmilla admitted defeat and spoke up again. “Why don’t you text LaF and let them know you’re here?” Laura shrugged and stayed quiet. Carmilla walked up to the log and cautiously sat down next to the other girl, waiting for her to lash out at the advances.

They never came. “I didn’t want to let them know.”

“What if I text them?”

“Please don’t.” Her voice was quiet, barely above a whisper.

“Why not?”

“I don’t want to see my friends right now.”

“Why aren’t you yelling at me for finding you then?”

“You’re not my friend right now.”

Ouch. “Oh.” That hurt more than it probably should. Carmilla stood; things were complicated enough without the two of them actually interacting with each other.

“Don’t go.” Laura’s voice took her by surprise. Her head whipped around to see the honey brown eyes looking up at her, shiny with unshed tears and desperation. “I want you to stay.”

Without thinking, Carmilla nodded and sat down beside her in silence.


	25. Regrets and Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left, and I've already written a chunk of it. Hopefully it won't be another month >_>
> 
> I meant to release this tomorrow, but I probably won't be able to get online to upload it, given the fact I have a midterm to give. Anyway.
> 
> Hope you like it.

“I’m sorry for the weekend.”

They had sat in silence for a long time; Carmilla didn’t know how much time had passed. But Laura hadn’t lashed out at her or anything so Carmilla started to relax, watching the birds fly in the distance. When she eventually broke the silence, the words were carefully thought out and weighed against the probability of Laura pushing her off into the giant pit in front of them.

“You’re right. I’m a different person around my family. I always have been. It’s hard to take off that mask even when someone else is around.” There was more silence and Carmilla briefly wondered what Laura even wanted from her.

“I like this Carmilla better.” Laura’s voice surprised her, but she managed to hide any visual indication and keep a stoic face. “She’s nice and thoughtful.” Carmilla snorted in disbelief, earning a laugh and a gentle shoulder nudge from the girl beside her. “I like her.”

Despite everything that happened over the last few weeks, Carmilla smiled. “Good.” A pause. A silent prayer to summon her courage and make it stick. “She likes you too. And she hopes that you’ll forgive her and let her reintroduce herself to you.”

Laura laughed for whatever reason, but honestly, Carmilla was just happy to see her smile. “You’re so proper sometimes. Like you were born in the 1600s.” Blushing, Carmilla nodded and looked up at the sky to avoid the other girl’s eyes. “But you’re forgiven.” A beat. “My dad always taught me to give everyone a second chance.”

“Go Papa Hollis.” Carmilla said dryly, albeit with a grin. “I’ll have to meet him one day. Tell him what a great daughter he managed to raise by himself.” Off of Laura’s look, she quickly added, “If you want. After all, you already met my family.”

The silence lasted, but not long. “Yeah. Yeah you should.” Laura nodded. “You’d like him.” Her smile faded as a serious look took over her face. “I think we might have to pretend we’re dating for him to accept you though.” She managed to stay focused on maintaining her smile before Laura broke the facade and laughed, the smile lighting up her eyes.

While Laura laughed Carmilla blushed furiously, grinning like an idiot at her shoes. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

She was adorable, shaking her head while she laughed at Carmilla’s expense.  
Carmilla didn’t deserve her friendship, not with the shit storm that was her life.

“Do you want to talk about what happened last night? This morning?” Carmilla really knew how to kill a conversation, watching Laura’s expression fall and contorted with thought-filled confusion.

Enough time had passed between them that Carmilla considered retracting her question, planning on falling over her words in an attempt to take it all back. “I don't regret it, you know.” Carmilla nearly fell off her perch on the log, not believing her ears. “I really liked it. I just… I would do it differently. Not hungover, not angry at the world...” Laura gave a grim laugh. “It sounds so cliché but… ” Despite the girl's eyes focused firmly on the ground, Carmilla could tell Laura's cheeks were burning up. Well of course she liked it. She was with the legendary _Carmilla Karnstein_.

Her ego needed to learn when it needed to shut up.

“At least you didn't have to get someone to pretend to be your girlfriend to try to fool your mom.” Carmilla leaned over and bumped her shoulder against Laura's in a vague attempt to cheer her up and de-embarass her.

This got Laura to smile, though, and look up from her sneakers. “That's true...” Her words flirted with divulging into laughter. Carmilla almost wished they did; it had easily become one of her favourite sounds.

A vibration in her pocket caught her attention away from the joy in the caramel coloured eyes beside her. With an aggravated sigh, Carmilla pulled out her phone to see her roommate’s name on the screen along with the flashing LED that signaled a, probably panicked and overwritten, text message. Rolling her eyes, the phone disappeared back into her pocket. “Are you going to tell Science Ginger or at the very least Merida that you’re alive?”

Laura gave an audible gasp and turned to her. “You remember Merida’s name?” She squealed excitedly.

“You're avoiding the question.” Carmilla wasn't going to be the one to admit that there was a soft spot for archery deep down inside her.

A frown started to appear on the other girl's face at the correction of conversation, shifting slightly uncomfortably in her seat on the log. “I'll call them in a bit.” She conceded. 

“Let’s start over.”

Laura’s facial expression mimicked the surprise Carmilla felt for the words that came out of her mouth. “What?”

She took a deep breath, readying herself. “You and me. Let’s start over.” The words came to her a lot easier than she expected, flowing freely.“The last few weeks never happened. We pretend we just met and nothing happened. No drunken actions, no blatant lies… we just pick up from when we met on the quad. No regrets.” Carmilla stopped talking, self-consciously cutting herself off to avoid being a rambling mess like Laura always was when she was nervous.

The wheels in Laura's head were clearly spinning rapidly as Carmilla looked on.

“Okay.”

“What?” She was shocked that Laura even agreed to the whole idea. That being said, it wasn't the first crazy idea Carmilla proposed that she agreed to.

“Let's do it. Let's start over.”

Carmilla grinned, slowly turning into her trademark smirk. “Great.” She offered Laura her hand. “Hey. I'm Carmilla.”

Laura shook the hand with a smile. “Laura Hollis. You're always so proper.”

“Always?” Carmilla mocked a gasp. “Have you been spying on me, Miss Hollis? I thought we've never met before.”

Throwing her head back, Laura let out a loud laugh, echoing over the small pit before them. “You're right. I apologize.” She agreed, nodding. “Nice to meet you, Carmilla.”


	26. Epilogue

The weather was nice enough that the group decided that their social time should be spent outside instead of the musty dorm room or hall common area. That’s how Carmilla, Laura, LaFontaine, Perry and Danny found themselves on the quad under a tree eating lunch during their free hour. Carmilla sat a little unhappily but that could be due to the sun or Danny’s presence… it was anyone’s guess.

But it was probably Danny.

“Have you figured out your living situation for next year?” Perry asked Carmilla during a lull in conversation. “You know that housing selection is coming up soon.”

Carmilla sighed and rolled her eyes in response. Perry was moving into an on-campus apartment letting her not only perform her floor don duties, but allowing LaFontaine move in with her… leaving Carmilla roommate-less. “I figured I'd live somewhere with four walls, maybe a bathroom-”

“Carm!” Laura's arm flung out and hit the arm. “It's not funny! If you don't choose a roommate, you get put into the lottery.”

LaFontaine snorted a bit of the grape soda they were drinking. “No one likes being in that lottery. Even when you win, you lose.”

“I don’t know, LaF, I randomly got paired with Betty last year and she’s not that horrible of a roommate.” Laura pointed out. She sat up a little, feigning importance… or maybe she truly believed she was going to grace them all with wisdom of the decade. “For every horrible pairing there is at least one pair made to last.”

Danny, LaFontaine and Carmilla all made direct eye contact with each other before simultaneously bursting out laughing. “Are you kidding me, Laura?” Danny asked, her cheeks nearly as red as her hair from laughing. “The ratio is more like 1 to 20.” She grinned. “Half of the sisters have horror stories. Remember that one about the girl who ran around naked singing country songs?”

“Yeah, But those are just the bad ones-”

“And the one that’d run out into the mid-winter blizzard in just her underwear and nearly got mauled by the Yeti?”

“Okay sure you have a few-”

“How about the one who sang in the shower every night at midnight?” Danny raised an eyebrow, looking for an explanation. “ _In Russian_.” She added pointedly. “Laura, we don’t even have a Russian program and she was from _Brazil_.”

Laura slumped her shoulders in defeat and nodded a little. “Okay, yeah, sometimes the roommate lottery doesn’t always produce the best results.” Danny flashed a victory smirk in Laura’s direction before sticking her tongue out in jest. 

Perry coughed pointedly. “That being established… what’s your plan Carmilla?”

Genuinely unsure of her plan, Carmilla shrugged. “Hey Laur- aren’t you on your own too? Didn’t Betty decide to room with that Natalie girl?” LaFontaine asked. “Since her roommate… you know?” Sarah Jane had succumbed to university pressure, along with other things. There had been an email sent out to the university and Perry was still on edge about it.

Understandably so.

“Yeah, I don’t know yet...”

“Why don’t you and Drusilla room together?” Danny asked with a smirk. 

The suggestion brought out mixed reactions with words overlapping each other and voices being raised.

“I know we’re close and all but that might be pushing it...”  
“Oh man, that’d be perfect! I’ll help you move in!”  
“We’ve only been dating for like, a week...”  
“That doesn’t seem like the most logical idea...”

Laura and Carmilla sat in various stages of uncomfortableness while LaFontaine was struggling to keep their face a normal colour while attempting not to laugh. Perry just sat there shaking her head with a slightly disapproving look on her face.

Before any of them could properly tell Danny off, the tall girl stood up and stretched her arms well above her head. “As much as I love catching up with you guys, I have class across campus in a bit so I need to get going.”

“What a shame.” Carmilla said, the sarcastic drawl almost drowning out the actual words. 

Danny’s eyes narrowed as she let out a short, “Fang face.”

“Xena.” 

Maybe before they graduated, the two of them could have a mildly mature conversation between them. 

Carmilla doubted it.

“Oh wait! Before you leave!” LaFontaine jumped up from their spot and started digging through their book bag, pulling out a stack of papers. They were light blue and from what Carmilla could tell, they featured a pair of paper-cutout figures joined together at the hand. “My friend JP is in the psych department asked us to pass these out. He’s doing a study and needs some willing participants. Do you mind taking a few and giving them to your sisters?” They asked, holding out a small handful.

Danny reached forward and took the batch of papers. “Of course.”

The minute they were flyer-less, LaFontaine reached back into their bag and pulled out some more, passing a small stack to Laura, Carmilla and Perry. “You guys can hand them out too, I don’t think JP’s going to be picky if he gets too many applicants.” They laughed.

Carmilla shook her head, silly scientists… _wanting_ to talk to people. It almost disgusted her. 

Looking down, she started reading the first paper on the stack in her hands. In bold over the picture of the two cutouts was the title “ **Are You In A Healthy Relationship? Do You Want To Earn Some Cash?** ” With a short list of bullets under it.

  * Psych student seeking willing participants for a study.
  * All genders and sexualities accepted. 
  * Both volunteers must be 18 years or older and attending Silas University.
  * Participants must have been in relationship for over 6 months.
  * $500 will be given to each volunteer upon completion. 



Under that it had tabs that students could pull off the flyer, each with a name, phone number and email that they could use if they were interested in participating.

“$500?” Danny asked with disbelief while the others finished reading the flyer. “Damn I hate being single.” Her voice was only a little bitter.

Surprising herself a little, Carmilla smirked at looked over at Laura. “We should do it.” She said with a smirk.

“What?” Perry shrieked. Of course she would get worked up over a four word sentence. “You can’t do that! You haven’t been dating for six months!”

“Is that really what you're focusing on here, Per?” LaFontaine deadpanned.

Carmilla looked between the two redheads before turning back to the girl beside her. “Come on? How hard could it be?”

Laura brought her finger to her chin, miming deep thought. “Hmm… for $500….”

“You can't honestly be considering this, Laura.” Danny said, dumbfounded. 

“Well we've already done it...” Carmilla said with a smirk, her grin widening as Laura's grew.

Danny shook her head and muttered a quick “I can't with you two” before leaving their small circle and off to her class.

Now Laura was getting caught up in it too, a shit-eating grin (that Carmilla was way too proud of) on her face. “And if we prep, what could we possibly mess up?”

“Nope. No.” Perry's voice was sharp as she stood up, her face completely done with the conversation.

LaFontaine shook their head, stretching and getting to their feet. “I'm out. I can't believe you're actually considering it. I'm going to head out before you two end up in even more trouble.”

Laughing, Carmilla and Laura watched as the two redheads walked off, leaving them alone as the cool breeze passed over the quad. Carmilla looked over at Laura and raised an eyebrow before shrugging. “Their loss.” She said, as if it were a standard conversation.

A minute passed as Laura's face sobered as her mind raced. “So do you think we should do it?” She asked.

The two girls sat as the sun beat down on them, thinking about the opportunity before them and whether or not they should seize it. 

“Well?” Laura pressed after a minute, looking for something in response.

Carmilla looked over at the honey brown haired girl, thinking of all the potential.

She smirked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and likes. This story wouldn't have finished (or lasted as long as it did) without them.
> 
> Let me know what you thought about it or hit me up on tumblr and talk to me there: sarthefirst@tumblr.com  
> Thanks for the ride and here's to season 3!

**Author's Note:**

> I run on zero sleep. And it's unbeta'd. If you have any questions or comments, hit me up here or on tumblr. sarthefirst.tumblr.com (All and any comments are appreciated!)


End file.
